Maybe. I could understand that. It certainly could explain his behavior.I also consider his mother might have said something to him. Surely this can’t be what he’s upset about, out of the blue.
He’s got the weight of the world on his shoulders, but he’s always been so calm and collected. If he would just let me in, he wouldn’t have to carry the burden alone. If we’re going to be together, he has to learn that he can lean on me.
“Don’t do that. Don’t push me away.” Whatever it is, we can fight it.
He paces, biting his nails, sweat glistening along his brow. I’ve never seen him panic like this before.
I reach for his arm. “If you would just tell me what’s wrong—”
He flinches at my touch. And the rejection... it hurts.
“Dammit, Jay! You killed my father! I can’t forgive that and neither will anyone else.” His eyes blaze into mine.
“You don’t mean that,” I say, but it’s laced with fear and uncertainty.
Caleb’s shoulders heave up and down as he glares at me. His silence a response in itself.
I’m hurt and angry. I don’t justwantanswers but deserve them. “Tell me what’s changed within the last hour.”
“Nothing’s changed,” he hisses. “You’ve always been who you are. I just lost my way. You’re nothing but a cold-blooded killer. A monster.” Caleb’s nostrils flare.
His insults strike me in the heart, and I bleed tears. But this time, the pain doesn’t follow with a wave of endorphins. The only thing rolling through me now is devastation.
I am ready to move forward and shouldn’t have to defend myself time and time again. I’m hard enough on myself without Calebconstantlyadding to it. And I’ll be damned if I let him—or anyone else—talk to me this way.
Not anymore.
I shake my head, and my voice quivers from his betrayal. “No.” My nostrils flare, and I raise my voice, pointing my finger at him. “No,youdon’t get to call me that!”
I pause. “I am sorry for what I did to your father. I truly am. I think about it every day, but I can’t spend the rest of my life apologizing for my survival when no oneeverfights for me.”
Caleb continues watching me, and it’s the final nail in the coffin.I’mthe monster? I wouldneverwatch someone I claim to lovebreakin front of me and do absolutely nothing.
The truth hits me in the face.
Because he doesn’t love me.
“You think I take pleasure from others’ pain, but I have only ever found pleasure in my own. From where I stand, the only one who finds enjoyment in the pain of others is you.”
***
Like a dog with its tail between its legs, I knock on Jemma’s door. I don’t have much of anything but essentials and the clothes Taya let me borrow.
It was a safe bet that I could leave directly from training and go straight to Jemma’s.
The door groans and a beaming Jemma appears with an apron around her waist to greet me. “Come on in. I’ve got a room ready for you.” She ushers me in, and I follow her up the stairs that creak as I step on them.
Jemma shows me to Alaina’s old room, makes sure I have everything I need, then leaves. It’s a pretty standard guest room, stocked with only the essentials—not that I expected or needed anything more. It’s perfect. I take in the space and as empty as it is, compared to how I’m feeling, it’s full.
I place my head in my hands and sob.
What were we even fighting about? How did things blow up like they did?I don’t understand.
We were fine. Then he just blew up at me—for no reason at all. Oh, and his face! The way he looked at me with pure hatred.I didn’t even recognize him. And when he called me a monster? Heknowshow I feel about that, yet he still said it.
He was angry, is all,my wolf says.
That doesn’t make me his punching bag.
