“A pirate game.”
“A pirate game?”
“Yep. I’m—Um . . .Weare . . . pirate captains. Yup. Sent by the king and queen.”
Casey’s eyes light up.
“And your daddy here is, uh, wanted for... a party.”
“What kind of party?”
“A... birthday party. The princess’s birthday party. Yeah, and if he’s not there, her birthday will be ruined.”
She gasps and covers her mouth. “Oh no.”
“Yeah! So, that’s why I’m rolling him up.”
I’m going to hell.
“Can I play?”
Casey is a curious one. There’s no bullshitting my way out of this with some “no because I said so” line. I’m going to have to let her help me.
“Sure, you can. You can start by helping me roll your daddy up in this hammock. Then we’ll tie him to a tree.”
Full of excitement, Casey says, “Okay!”
I think it’s safe to say my answer to her previous question is looking blacker than gray.
***
Casey’s tiny hands were perfect for undoing the more difficult knots in the rope. It was sheer luck that Casey seems to be a little Girl Scout of sorts and can tie “eleventy hundred” knots—according to her. She also can name themall.
Ask me how I know.
In all seriousness, she’s a cute pup. Polite, curious and skillful. I’ve met worse hellions. Pups can be entitled little shitheads if they aren’t raised right, unlike this one. I don’t know what Jeff wants to be, but I know what Jeffshouldbe when he grows up.
For now, he’s currently wrapped tightly in a hammock, leaned and tied against a tree.
He stirs, then his eyes shoot open in a confused panic. His expression when he sees me and Casey is one I’d like to frame. The guy slept so long it’s the kind of look someone to have if they fell into a coma and woke twenty years later.
Priceless.
“Wha—What happened?” He squints. “Where’s Casey?”
“She’s right here.” I point to little Casey who is perched on a stump next to the tree I’m leaning against. My arms are crossed, and my foot is propped up behind me.
Jeff panics, and his eyes widen. “Casey? Are you okay? Did he hurt you?”
“Quiet, you scallyhag!” She giggles.
I lean in to whisper, “It’s scallywag but”—I throw my hands up in acceptance as the point was still made—“close enough.”
Jeff recoils, causing little wrinkles to form under his neck. His brow furrows. “What did you just say?”
“Aye, you heard her, matey,” I say in the best pirate voice I can muster.
“What thefuckis going on?”
