Sire chats with the parents, then makes his way to the front of the room. The whole band grows quiet without him needing to say anything.
“Good afternoon!” he says even though he’s already been with us for rehearsals earlier today. “First, I’d like to welcome everyone who was able to make it today. Without your support, we wouldn’t be able to continue the amazing work we do, so thank you very much.”
My eyes skim the small cluster of parents in case I missed Mom’s arrival, but no. She’s definitely not here.
“As you all know, before we travel for our state competition, we want to take some time to celebrate all of you, especially those who have put in the work to get us to where we are right now. So, if I could have all the section leaders stand so we can celebrate you?”
Feeling self-conscious, I stand and look around the room at the others. My heart swells seeing us all. Many of us have been in band together since fifth grade, and I almost want to run around and give everyone hugs. Well, almost everyone. I catch Nova’s eye, feeling especially lucky to be here with her.
“And now, without further ado, I’ll announce the awards.Thank you to everyone who voted. Please know that it is always an extremely hard decision and each of you is to be commended for your hard work this season.” He clears his throat, and I glance again at the door. Surely, Mom will walk in any second now. “I am very excited to announce that the Most Valuable Freshman award is going to Li Xiang.”
I’m so caught up thinking about Mom that it takes me a second to understand what’s happening. Li stands and screams, and then I do the same.
“You did it, you did it!”
Around me, the rest of the color guard is out of their chairs, clapping and cheering. Nova, Max, and Felix are standing as well, and even a few percussion players, including Niko. Li heads up to the front to receive her plaque and take photos with Sire.
I give her a hug as she walks back to her seat and we all get settled for the next award, which goes to a sophomore trumpet player. I try to listen and smile and clap like a sane person, but inside, my nerves are twisting more tightly. The senior award is almost here, but my mom isn’t. Did something happen to her?
The junior award goes to a tuba player who starts crying when his name is announced. I look over at Dad. Could Mom have gotten into a car accident? Is Kelsey sick and she had to run to her school instead? Dad isn’t paying attention to the awards. His head is bowed, and he’s typing rapidly into his phone. I watch him, trying to decipher what’s going on. After a moment, his shoulders sag.
He looks up at me, his face drawn. He gives me thesmallest shake of the head, and I understand what he’s telling me. She’s not in an emergency situation. She’s not in danger. But she’s also not coming.
I sit back against the chair. There’s a roaring in my ears that makes it hard to hear the rest of the band. She’s not here for the awards ceremony. She’s not going to see me win or lose. I…should be happy. This is what I wanted, right? One of the things I was most worried about was the look on her face when she realized I’d lost, and now I don’t have to see that. But instead of feeling relieved, I’m surprised to feel heat pricking behind my eyes.
“And last, but certainly not least, I have the pleasure of announcing the Most Valuable Senior award,” Sire says. He sounds like he’s underwater. “This year, we had a truly tremendous group of seniors, and this was an extremely hard decision. I wish I could give out at least five awards, but there’s only space for one name.”
I scan the band members. Every single person is staring at Sire with rapt attention.
Except Max.
He’s looking straight at me and the worry on his face is enough to puncture a hole in my neutral facade. I swipe at my left eye before a tear can fall, and he moves to stand.
“Nova Walsh!”
We both freeze and our heads whip to Nova. She sits stock-still with perfect posture, her mouth open, while the entire clarinet section screams and encircles her. Max and I both rush to Nova’s section. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Brody standing as well, but his expression is full of anger and disappointment. A fleeting moment of gratification hitsme that he didn’t win, but then it’s gone. He doesn’t deserve a second of my thoughts. I push everything from my mind and throw my arms around Nova as soon as I’m able to get close enough.
“Nova! I’m so happy for you!”
She’s shaking. I let go of her so Max can hug her as well.
“How did I get it?” she asks.
“Because you deserve it!” I say.
Her brows furrow as she takes in my expression. “Are you upset? You wanted it so much.”
“Oh…no, it’s not…” I try my hardest to rearrange my features and push Mom further from my thoughts. “I’m not upset that you won. I’m so,sohappy for you, truly.” I lean in and whisper, “I voted for you.”
She makes a little sobbing sound in the back of her throat, which brings tears to my eyes.
“I voted foryou,” she says.
“We canceled out each other’s votes!” Now we’re laughingandcrying.
“Nova, if you wouldn’t mind coming down to collect your award?” Sire calls, his voice bemused.
We all step back to let her get away. Sire says some other things I don’t listen to, the winners head back up to the front of the room for group photos, and the rest of the band disperses for the day. I’d like to escape with them, but Max comes up to me before I can bolt.
