“We’ll love you no matter what, Hazel,” Li whispers.
I bite my lip. I could make more excuses or refuse to tell them, but honestly, what does it matter now?
“Max and I…we were kind of…” I swallow down my nerves. “Well, we were together and now we’re not. I’m still getting over it.”
“You andMax?” Keira squeals loud enough that I’m sure other people overhear. I squeeze my eyes shut in embarrassment.
“Sorry!”
“I’m so sorry, Hazel,” Li says. Unlike the others, she doesn’t look surprised. She’s more resigned than anything.
“Did he do something?” Yori asks. “Say one word and I’m bringing back my orc barbarian persona. I’ll knock him out with a flag pole on the field.”
“He doesn’t deserve you,” Callie says.
Rosa sighs. “You can’t trust boys.”
“Hey!” Devin complains. “I mean, having dated a few, I can’t argue. But I still take offense.”
“Thanks, everyone. I’ll be okay. I just…I really liked him.” Some of the emotion I’m desperately trying to hold back seeps into my words, and they all sit back at it.
“Color guard?” Sire’s voice is stern. “I know you’re coming off a successful weekend, but no one in this room is perfect. I expect you to pay attention to the film with the rest of the band.”
We all sit up and train our eyes on the screen.
Five minutes later, Callie whispers, “Pizza after rehearsal? All together?”
I frown. We haven’t all gotten together since our section dinner back in August. There’s no way everyone has the time or motivation for that. But, to my shock, each of the members nods in agreement. The tightness in my chest loosens abit.
I’m the last to arrive at the restaurant because Mom texts to ask if I’ll drop Kelsey off at dance since she’s overbooked. When I arrive, a chorus of laughter and voices catches my attention. I follow the sound to the back corner where the entire guard is gathered around a big round table.
“There she is!” Li calls.
I wave and sit down. “Thanks for doing this. It means alot.”
“We needed to have a celebration dinner!” Callie says. “And also to vent about the percussion section proving once again that they’re the worst!”
The others nod vehemently, but I can’t drum up muchanger for the other percussion players. I can’t even find the energy to be mad at Brody. All I feel is apathy and an achingsadness.
When I’m quiet, an awkward silence falls over the table.
“Sorry to bum everyone out,” I mumble. “I’m not really in a self-righteous, enraged mood right now. I’m just blah.”
“So…um, you and Max?” Deja says. “That seems so out of the blue. I thought you hated him?”
“I thought I did too,” I reply with a little laugh. “At least at one point. But we go back a long time, and eventually I realized that all that hate was maybe turning into…” A particular four-letter word floats into my mind, but I quickly push it away. I can’t say that out loud now. “Into something else. But it’s too hard. I don’t know how to trust him.”
“You shouldn’t trust him,” Addison says. “He’s percussion.”
There are a few snickers around the table.
“Don’t kill me, any of you,” Li interjects, “but I think Max is a pretty good guy. We’ve been playing D&D together and he’s been cool to me.”
“I was the one secretly dating him, so it’s not like I can judge you for liking him,” I reply.
“So…like, is itoverover?” Keira asks. “Or is there a chance you’d get back together with him?”
I meticulously fold the paper covering from my straw rather than look her in the eye. My mind says that we’ll never get back together. He’s burned bridges that he can’t rebuild. But my heart…I miss Max so much. It’s hard to do anything but think of him. I don’t want him to be a stranger again, or my enemy, or my ex.
