This groan is more agonized than the last. “You’re killing me. All that time I was worrying about how to convince you to take a chance on me and it was all for nothing.”
“Not for nothing.” I step closer to him. “We’re here now.”
“Wearehere now,” he murmurs slowly, and my heart speeds. “And you’re happy about that?”
“I’m more than happy.”
The corner of his mouth lifts in a smile. “Then come here.”
He raises his hands to either side of my neck and kisses me. This time feels different than Saturday. I sink into his chest and revel in the feel of his mouth against mine and the fact that all this time that I’ve been wanting him, he’s been wanting me too. It’s incredible. We’re finally here together and I don’t want anything to ruin it.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
With our last regional competition (and hopefully state) coming up, Max and I don’t have time for more stolen moments during band practices. In fact, we barely see each other all week. I’m happy for any excuse to be with him, so I jump at the chance to come to his place Saturday to paint D&D miniatures.
“This is nice,” I say when I walk into the apartment he shares with his mom.
He shrugs. “I guess. Mom tried to do what she could with decorations and plants.”
It’s a basic space with plain white walls and dated carpet, but Melanie was able to liven it up some with bright pops of yellow and lots of houseplants. Still, standing in his living room, which also serves as the dining room and Melanie’s office (given the messy desk shoved in a corner), I can understand better where his resentment from before might havecome from. This apartment is certainly very different from my house—or, I’m guessing, the house he left behind when he moved here.
I walk to a round kitchen table where he’s laid out all the paints. I pull out the miniatures I bought, along with more paints and brushes Mom and Dad had in a box in the basement.
“Are we ready for this?” I ask, picking up the model that will serve as Ellywich and seeing how many tiny details there are to paint.
“I don’t know. I hope this wasn’t a horrible idea.”
“Why don’t we start with some of the terrain you bought.” I pick up a building that’s supposed to serve as part of Darkthorn. “We can’t mess these up too much.”
“Let’s hope not.”
I study him as he sits down across from me. Something about his tone isn’t quite right. There’s an edge to his voice that I haven’t heard since band camp.
“Is everything okay?”
He doesn’t look at me. “Fine. I’m just tired.”
I bite the inside of my cheek and pour out some brown paint. The minutes tick by as we work in silence, and my tension ratchets up. He hasn’t been this quiet around me since August. Maybe our secret is affecting him? I know it’s been harder for me than I was expecting. I’m constantly monitoring myself, making sure that I don’t give anything away to my parents or the rest of the guard. I can’t even meet his eye during practice, for fear that I’ll accidentally smile and someone will ask what’s going on.
I keep going over it in my head, trying to decide on how we should handle things moving forward. I’m not eager to hear everyone’s opinions, but we can’t keep this secret forever. The first few days made sense because it was so new, but at some point people will start getting upset when they find out we’ve been lying. And I still think we have the possibility of bringing color guard and percussion closer through this. Maybe we could even invite both groups to get pizza together or something. It makes me smile, the idea of Li and Felix getting to hang out together. If we’re going to be good leaders for our sections, the least we can do is be truthful to them.
I’d like to talk to him about all this, but not if he’s already in a mood.
Finally, after ten minutes, Max sighs and his shoulders slump. “I’m sorry,” he says softly. “I’m just in my head about my dad.”
I let out a breath. I don’t want him to have struggles of any kind, but I’m relieved he’s not upset about us. “What’s going on?”
“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but he hasn’t come to any of our football games or competitions this season. I know it’s a drive for him, but I figured he’d be there for at least one. I was expecting him next Saturday for the regional.” He slumps lower. “But Mom heard from him last night, and he said he’s not coming to that or state. I guess he already has plans with friends those weekends.”
Seriously? Anger surges in me. It would be one thing if his dad had to work, but how can he choose his friends over his son like that? Max has been in band for years, so it’s notlike his father wouldn’t understand how important it is or how much work goes into our season. Especially when Max is a senior. This will be his dad’s last chance to see him on the field.
“Mom made excuses for him,” Max continues, “but he’s angry with me, I know it. He wanted me to stay with him when they separated. He didn’t understand why I’d leave when I already had a life there.” He rolls back his shoulders, probably trying to come across as nonchalant, but he’s anything but that now. “The longer I’m away from him, the more I realize Mom and I should’ve left sooner.”
“Max, I’m so sorry. What he’s doing is…” I try to think of the right words without cursing out his dad. “It’s not right. He’s your dad and he should be there no matter what. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Yeah.”
“Is your mom doing better?”
