She lifts an eyebrow. “I know I can’t be here every day, but I’m still the color guard director. He gives me a daily update.”
“Oh.”
“Don’t worry, like I said, they’ve been positive comments. Yesterday he said I might be out of a job if you keep this up.”
My cheeks warm, but I try not to look too pleased with myself. “I’ve been thinking more about what you said before. And I’ve been watching the other section leaders too. I thought I’d switch it up some.”
“Good switching. This is the way to win Superior ratings.” She nods approvingly. “And best in show awards.”
Just the possibility ignites the competitive fire inside me. This time, I think she might be right. The members have really embraced DJing our warm-ups and they’ve even taken to calling each other by their character names. That’s certainly helped the morale of the group, but practicing in front of mirrors is what’s made the biggest difference. I barely haveto call out the corrections anymore when we’re practicing inside because they can see it for themselves.
I turn to her. “Do you think you’ll be here for our practices this coming week? I’m sure having you here would motivate the others even more.”
“I’ll try my hardest,” she says, but she doesn’t look confident. “But like I said, I’m not even sure you need me.”
I swallow down a sigh. I know there are some perks to this arrangement with Faith. It gives me a lot of control over the guard without an adult to constantly answer to. But if I want the guard to have a successful end to the season, then I’m the one who is going to have to make that happen. I wish the knowledge wasn’t suffocating, but sometimes it feels hard to take a deep breath.
Thirty minutes later, the whole band heads outside to load onto the buses. Nova makes a beeline for me.
“What’s wrong?” she asks.
“Just a frustrating conversation with Faith.”
I look around the crowd to make sure Faith is far away before I say more. Instead, I see Max laughing with Felix and a few other percussion guys. As usual, he looks happy and relaxed. He’s fallen into his role as section leader so easily, it’s like he’s been with our band for years. There’s a pang in my chest knowing that he’s standing so close, but there’s no way I can go up and talk to him without making everything weird. Felix might be cool with me joining their group, but I’m sure the others wouldn’t be.
“Uh, Hazel, hello? Did you hear me?” Nova waves a hand in front of my eyes, then follows my gaze. “Girl…”
I spin and put my back to Max. “Sorry. It’s not what it looks like.”
“Like you’re pining over him? Because I’m pretty sure it’s exactly what it looks like.”
“I was just thinking that it sucks how Max and I are friends, but we don’t hang out at band.”
“I hope you’re not thinking about kicking me out as seatmate on the bus.”
“No, of course not,” I reply quickly. We’d probably spend the entire ride bickering if Max and I ever sat together. Or maybe we’d sit in silence because we’d run out of things to say to each other. Of course, a lot of couples don’t use the long bus rides for talking…
My cheeks heat and I shut off those thoughts immediately.
Nova shakes her head. “Listen, I’m happy you aren’t at each other’s throats anymore, but you need to be careful around Max. I think you should stick to playing D&D with him, instead of whatever this other game is.”
“What are you talking about? We’re friends now.”
“You can fool everyone else, Hazel, including Max and maybe even yourself, but youcan’tfool me. Whatever childhood crush you had on him, it’s coming back in full force and denying it isn’t going to make it go away.” She looks between us. “I just don’t see how anything between you two will work out when you can barely acknowledge each other in public. I don’t want to see you get your heart broken.”
I put my head on her shoulder. “That’s not going tohappen,” I whisper. But my voice doesn’t come out as confidently as I’d hoped. Nova knows me too well.
I wait until Max lines up for a bus and then make sure to ride the other one so there’s no awkwardness. And once we arrive, there’s no time to think about anything but getting ready for the football game. It’s always disconcerting being at a new school. Yes, high school football fields are the same size, but theyfeeldifferent. There’s something comforting about stepping out onto a newly painted thirty-yard line knowing that this is the exact same grass you’ve been on a hundred times before. Here, nothing feels quite right.
The first two quarters go smoothly, but I’m nervous as we walk to the field for the halftime show. Faith walks through the guard, squeezing our shoulders. I catch the eye of a few members and smile encouragingly, although I notice that Li always seems to be looking in a different direction when I turn toward her. This isn’t the place to have a real conversation with her about the D&D game, but I need to do it soon.
We walk along the length of the football field between the crowd and the pit, where the larger percussion instruments sit. Up ahead, other sections are pumping each other up with their chants. The clarinets and flutes each yell theirs, and then the saxophone section screams, “We love sax!” followed by a chorus of laughter and squeals.
“I should’ve played saxophone just so I could go around screaming that,” Callie tells the rest of us with a smirk.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Brody standing in the pit with three or four other kids from the percussion section. It’s an odd place for him to be lingering since he doesn’t play a pit instrument. Something about this doesn’t feel right. Iglance around, looking for Max, but he’s not anywhere I cansee.
My steps slow as Brody and Kyle unfurl a roll of paper and lift it above their heads. Gasps and laughs trickle through the band and up into the stands as people begin to notice.
