“You sound less than excited.”
I heave a sigh and lean back into the seat. “It’s just…”
I study his profile, wondering how much to say. As a DM, I should be keeping my ideas for the game secret, and also…I’m still a little nervous about being vulnerable around him. He already knows my struggles with color guard. Does he really need to know about another area of my life where I’m failing? But, to his credit, he hasn’t once thrown my worries as section leader back in my face. Hopefully I can trust him with this too.
“Running the game is harder than I thought it would be,” I admit. “And I already knew it was going to be tough.”
“But you’ve done great.”
I deflate. “I only threw a bunch of monster encounters at you all in the city because I didn’t know what else to do anddidn’t take the time I should have to prepare. I wasn’t even planning on the group going into the city.”
“Really?” He looks away from the road for a split second. “Isn’t that where you were leading us? You had the festival right outside of the city.”
I laugh. “The opposite actually. I had an entire dungeon crawl planned out in the forest with hidden doors and treasure chests.” My fingernails press painfully into my palms. “I’m too rigid to be a DM. When that plan didn’t work out, I just kind of…froze. And I’m pissing everyone off.”
Max shakes his head so forcefully that I’m not sure he can see in front of him. “Did Nova say that?”
“No, but I don’t think Li and Felix are having a good time. I totally blew off the backstory they made up for their characters.”
“You’re being too hard on yourself. We wouldn’t be playing at all if it wasn’t for you.” He taps the steering wheel. “Can I help somehow?”
“Do you want to take over as DM?” I ask, only half joking.
“I mean, I guess I could give it a go. It’d be a shame to lose Axolotl from the group, though. And to lose such an awesome DM. I don’t think you should give up.”
I press the heels of my hands into my eyes. “Or,hear me out, what if I devote myself toYu-Gi-Oh!instead? I can’t imagine how many shows I’ve missed since I stopped watching.”
“Yeah, I don’t think so. You should talk to Li. She seems open-minded, I bet you can work it out.”
“Ugh.” I blow an errant curl from my forehead. “Thank you for your stupid, logical advice, I guess.”
“Anytime. Thanks for trusting me enough to tell me.” He glances over at me again. “I’m glad you didn’t give up on me.”
My pulse thrums at his words. “I’m not sure I’m capable of giving up on you. Not really.” I bite the inside of my cheek. “Although sometimes I did want to pour thawed Popsicle juice on your head.”
He scrubs a hand over his face. “I’m never living that one down, huh?”
“There’sa lotyou’re never living down. But this afternoon was a step in the right direction.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
“What are you all doing?” Faith asks Friday afternoon when she walks into the auditorium, which the guard has taken over like it’s our second home. This evening we have an away game, so we’re prepping in here before we load up the buses and head to Coshocton High School.
Yori looks up with a huge smile. “We thought we’d get our hair braided and paint our nails together before the game.”
“Oh.” Faith glances at me in surprise. “Well, that sounds great.”
I do a last swipe of green nail polish onto Devin’s pinky. He inspects it and nods in approval. “Thanks, Hazel.”
“No problem.” I stand and walk to Faith’s side.
She leans closer. “So, this is a…surprise.”
I cross my arms over my chest and take in the scene. Some members are still sitting in groups of twos and threes (I don’t think I’ll ever be able to split up Madisyn, Addison,and Devin), but more people are sitting together. I’m happy to see that Rosa and Yori are hanging out with Li so she’s not perpetually alone in our group. There’s nail painting, French braiding, and lots of chatter. A small voice in the back of my head argues that this is a waste of time, and that we’d be better off reviewing some choreography before heading out, but I push that voice away. I need to see how this method works before dismissing it.
“Sire’s been talking about how there’s something different with the color guard lately, and now I see what he means,” Faith says quietly.
“You talk to Sire?”
