“I don’t hate it if it has enough icing, it’s just not my favorite. I can choke this one down.”
“But then why…”
I trail off as he gives me a small knowing smile. What I really need right now is a few minutes to get my bearings and figure out what comes next. I know I could explain that to everyone…but Ireallydon’t want to admit that I’m already dropping the ball as their Dungeon Master. I’m supposed to be the leader. The person behind the curtain who knows everything. I don’t want them to lose faith in me so early in the campaign.
Max easily could have called me out as soon as he realized I was vulnerable, but instead he found a way to give me exactly what I need without letting the others know. The realization makes my throat tight.
“When did you become so sacrificial?” I ask weakly. “Choking down cake for me?”
“Just looking out for my Dungeon Master.”
HisDungeon Master. My heart stumbles. Suddenly that one word has enough weight to render me mute.
Chapter Eighteen
“Why does it matter?” Callie complains to me during rehearsal on Monday.
“Um, why does it matter that our flags need to be parallel on count five instead of six?” I stare at her incredulously. “Because if we aren’t using the same counts, then we won’t be in sync.”
She lifts a shoulder nonchalantly. Madisyn drops her flag to the ground. “I think what she means is why doesanyof this matter? What’s the point in working so hard when it doesn’t get us anywhere?”
“I agree,” Devin says and sits down on the gymnasium floor.
“But we will get better, I know we will, as long as we keep working.” I try to imbue my voice with conviction, but it doesn’t seem to be working.
Today is our first rehearsal since that absolutely disastrous competition over the weekend, and it’s clear that the guardis still dealing with some trauma from it. There’s no way to sugarcoat how badly it went, but I was hoping we could breeze over those details and use that bad performance to spur us on. It looks like everyone else is taking the wallowing approach instead.
“Hazel, give it up,” Addison says and sits down next to Devin. “It’s not happening. We should make our peace with the fact that we’re going to be cleaning up urine and who knows what in the men’s restrooms here before too long.”
“Yeah, thanks for that awesome gift, by the way,” Rosa says. “You just couldn’t rein yourself in around Brody and Max, huh?”
I clamp my mouth shut and glance at the others. Everyone looks downtrodden, even Li who usually rivals me for optimism and work ethic. A pit grows in my stomach. This isn’t how things should be.
“Well…” I suddenly wish Faith was here right now so she could use her authority to make them stand back up or at least give them free doughnuts as a distraction. I’ve got nothing. “How about we take a five-minute break to relax and then get back to it?”
I get a few shrugs and grunts in return.
I’m slow to put away all the flags today. I know I should make each guard member take care of their own flags, but they’re so depressed that it feels like the least I can do. By the time I get back into the band room afterward, it’s completely empty. Or that’s how it appears at first. However, a glanceat Sire’s office, which has a glass window looking into the band room, shows that Max is standing in there with Sire, Mrs.Lewis, and Mr.Jenkins, the percussion specialist. The door is closed, so I can’t hear anything, but it looks like a serious conversation given the solemn expressions on their faces. I look away before they notice me gawking. Why is Max in the office alone with them? Is he in trouble? I hadn’t noticed any issues during rehearsals today, but I was very focused on color guard.
I hesitate, debating what to do. There’s an obvious answer, which is to go home. Whatever is happening, it’s none of my business. But, on the other hand, my parents know I often stay late at school, and after last night it seems like Max and I are moving toward becoming friends again. If something bad is happening, then maybe I should stay in case he needs to talk.
After a few seconds of debate, I decide on a compromise. I won’t loiter outside the office like a stalker, I’ll only sit at a concrete picnic table outside. If he wants to talk then I’ll be there. And if not, no big deal. This gives me time to put together my Fiona Apple playlist like I’ve been meaning to, plus it’s a good way to take my mind off color guard.
Fifteen minutes later, Max walks through the door and tips his head toward the sky—clearly thinking he’s alone—to take a deep breath. He’s wearing a gray Led Zeppelin T-shirt that’s slightly too tight. He certainly loves his band shirts, although I have no room for judgment since I’m currently wearing a fitted Letters to Cleo shirt I stole from my mom. Max bends backward to stretch and his shirt lifts to reveal a sliver of his stomach. The sight is enough to make mypulse leap. Between that and his gorgeous pitch-black hair, I couldn’t pull my gaze from him if a meteor was rushing toward the earth to kill us both.
He straightens and almost jumps out of his skin when he sees me. “Hazel! What are you still doing here?”
I hold up my phone, embarrassed. “Um, mostly just messing around on this. But I saw you inside and thought I’d wait for you.”
“Really?” He seems genuinely shocked. “You didn’t have to do that.”
“I know. It seemed like something a friend might do. Unless I’m overstepping?”
“No, I’m glad you waited.” He rubs the back of his neck. “Actually, do you have time to hang out? I’ve heard there’s a walking trail down there, but I haven’t had a chance to explore it.” Max points behind the school to the edge of a woods.
My eyes widen and I try to keep my face neutral. Clearly no one has taken the time to explain that forest to him or the implications of what he’s asking. Our high school backs into a narrow strip of woods, and a long time ago the school district thought it’d be nice to make the area usable for students and nearby residents. They created a walking path through the forest, added some stones for steps, and even a few benches. Of course, as soon as the students got ahold of the space, they carved their names into the trees, sprayed graffiti onto the benches, and started using it as a “secret” place to smoke weed right off school property.
The space also got another kind of reputation. I can’t count the number of couples who’ve snuck down there forsome private time, and I don’t want to know what those trees have seen. Nowadays, there’d be only one assumption if anyone saw me walk into those woods with Max. Although, no one is here to see. I peer over at the forest. Nova and I poked our heads in freshman year, but I’ve never been back, and I have to admit I’ve always been curious to see more of it.
