It really had her hoping that he was truthful about wanting to be a father to their son. A real one. Not one in name only.
Because that was one of her fears. She wanted someone stable in his life, not someone who popped in and out when it was convenient.
“Who’s watchin’ my boy when you work?”
My boy.He was already getting possessive after only spending a grand total of about five hours with Ledger.
Bikers sure liked to claim whatever theythoughtwas theirs. Whether it was or not.
“My mother is watchingourson.” Having that kind of support was the main reason she moved home.
“Want him.”
“What?”
“Should be with me when he ain’t with you.”
“Oh no. No.”
“Wanna get to know my boy.”
“You will. But I want to be present. At least in the beginning.” Otherwise, without her there to monitor Zeke, she had no doubt he’d be telling Ledger he was their son’s father before she thought he was ready.
“Bullshit, Ky. He’s my fuckin’ blood. Should be able to spend time with him without you.”
“I don’t want him getting attached to you in case you decide being a father is too much work.” Taking him to a diner and eating pancakes together at the clubhouse might have been fun for both Ledger and Zeke, but true parenting wasn’t limited to the fun times. It was real work.
And Zeke was allergic to working.
She had shed real blood, sweat, and tears while raising her son. Having a child took sacrifice and selflessness.
Zeke had always been about Zeke.
“Ain’t gonna do that.”
“You say that now…”
“Gonna make you a promise.”
This should be good. “You’ve been known to break promises.”
“Ain’t gonna break this one.”
He was talking a good game, but she wasn’t sure she could trust him. It was one thing to hurt or disappoint her, another to do it to Ledger. At only three, he wouldn’t understand it.
She rolled to her side and propped her head in her hand. “Let’s hear it.”
“Gonna be there for him no matter what. Whatever he needs, gonna make sure he gets it.”
“You mean you’re actually going to work and help support him?”
“Yeah. Get that you wanna be careful. That’s what any good mother would want. But you gotta let me spend more time with him ‘cause I got a lotta time to make up. And that wasn’t ‘cause of me, Ky. That’s ‘cause of you. Should be fuckin’ pissed at you. Tryin’ not to be ‘cause I see how you are with him. Like I said, you’re a good mother ‘cause you’re puttin’ him first.”
Oh yes, he was definitely talking a good game. She wanted to believe him. She truly did. What he did at that pig roast four years ago was a kick in the chest that damaged her heart.
She only knew about what he did because she caught him in the act. She spent plenty of sleepless nights afterward wondering how many times it might have happened when she hadn’t been around.
“Gotta gimme a chance, Ky,” he pleaded in a whisper. “I fuck up, then I’ll get it if you never want me to see him again. Just askin’ that you make sure it’s a real fuck up first, not like me givin’ him fuckin’ apple juice when he shoulda had orange. Wanna know my son, Ky.” He blew out a breath. “Please.”
