“I said we need to handle this carefully. He’s only three. I don’t want to overwhelm or confuse him. I also don’t want him getting attached to you to only have you leave, whether it’s because you find being a parent too difficult, or boring, or you get arrested again. I told you I wanted steady.”
“And you already made it pretty fuckin’ clear that I ain’t steady.”
“Get it correct, Zeke,youdid. Nothing showed me you were ready to be a father.”
“Should’ve given me a chance to fuckin’ prove it! Didn’t even give me that shit! Goddamn!”
Trying to keep her cool, she said softly, “I didn’t want you screwing him up.”
His nostrils flared. “You wanted to do that on your own.”
“Do what? Raise him?”
“No. Fuckin’ screw him up.”
All the air fled her lungs. She whispered, “You think he’s screwed up?”
“How the fuck would I know when I haven’t had a goddamn chance to spend time with him?” With a set jaw, he closed his eyes and took a breath.
She wished he’d back off and give her room to breathe. Or think clearly. Him standing so close was messing with her head.
And, if she had to admit it, her heart. It was starting to crack again in the same spot where he’d broken it all those years ago.
He scraped fingers through his hair, messing it up.
Why did that make him look even hotter?
“Shoulda took the time you fuckin’ needed, then came back once you knew you were knocked up.”
Funny how he thought she could get over him within nine months. She didn’t want to admit that it took as long as it had. And that was why she hadn’t returned until now.
She’d been confident she was over him. Now, that confidence was as holey as Swiss cheese.
But he didn’t need to know any of that.
“It ain’t just my family, Ky, or my club that woulda been there for you and Ledger. Even if you didn’t want me fuckin’ involved, your family’s here, too. You left Shadow Valley where you had everything and went somewhere where you had fuckin’nothin’.”
And that was why she risked coming back. To have support from the people she loved and who loved her.
Zeke was not one of those people. He’d proven by his actions that the love had been one-sided.
“I was overwhelmed, pissed off and hurt by what you did. Hell, let’s not forget disappointed. Then, when I found out I was pregnant, I panicked. You weren’t reliable, Zeke. Not for me. Not for your family. Not for your club. You can’t deny that. Because of that, I couldn’t expect you to be reliable for Ledger. Out of everything on that list, he needed and still needs that the most.” Her eyes began to sting. She needed to get him out of her house before she broke down. If she did, he might think he had the upper-hand. “I didn’t keep him out of your life to hurt you. I did it to keephimfrom being hurt.”
His nostrils flared. “Same as I hurt you.”
She cursed the shake in her voice when she said, “You broke my heart. I wasright thereat that pig roast. You knew that and you didn’t care. You made me feel like I was nothing. That I didn’t matter.”
Chapter Thirteen
He tippedhis eyes downward and scrubbed his forehead. A few seconds later, he lifted his gaze again and met hers head-on. “You always fuckin’ mattered, Ky. Always.”
Was that regret in his eyes? No, it couldn’t be.
Turning his back on her, he dropped his head and plugged a hand on his hip. “God-fuckin’-damn it,” he muttered under his breath.
When he spun back around, he moved so close that the tips of his leather boots brushed against her bare toes.
“Youalwaysfuckin’ mattered,” came out in a pained whisper.
