“You’re right. It’s so much more. It should never be taken lightly.”
“Still love you.”
Her heart squeezed at that unexpected admission.Holy shit.If that was true…“You never told me, either. And I wouldn’t have guessed by your actions.”
“Another stupid motherfuckin’ mistake I made. Didn’t see it back then, but clearly see it now. Shoulda told you. Shoulda showed you better. Shoulda kept my dick in my jeans.”
All of that was true. “But not apologize?” She shouldn’t have to ask.
“Didn’t think a simple sorry would fix my fuck-up. Been tryin’ to show you instead.”
He was right. Some damage couldn’t be repaired by asimple apology. She also recognized the fact hewasmaking an attempt to be better.
“Too late to fix the past but that don’t mean we shouldn’t move the fuck forward and work on the future. Know you still love me, babe. Love our boy. Want us to make a life together. The life the three of us woulda had if I hadn’t been such a fuckin’ dickhead. I ain’t perfect. Tellin’ you now, ain’t ever gonna be perfect. That means our life ain’t gonna be perfect. But, for fuck’s sake, gonna do my fuckin’ best to make it a good one.”
Of course he sounded sincere and shereallywanted to believe it. She did.
But believing him would be taking a huge leap of faith.
“Move forward,” she echoed. “Like me moving onto the farm?”
“Would be one step toward our future. The other would be gettin’ rid of him.”
Her chin jerked back into her neck and she did a double-take. “Him?”
“That guy.”
That… “Glen?”
“Yeah. You belong to me, Ky. Want you to take what I fuckin’ said about us bein’ a family seriously.”
The whole reason she’d moved home was so Ledger would be surrounded by family. The reality was, Zeke was a major part of that family.
But she was so scared of him screwing up again. Of him getting drunk and doing something stupid, or losing his temper over some perceived slight and going back to prison. If he had always been a rock-solid guy, she wouldn’t hesitate. “Let me think about it.”
“Nothin’ to think about. All you gotta do is agree.”
Of course.She rolled her eyes at his solution. Just agree.
“You’re trying to control my life.” She was afraid she’d let him do it because she already felt the protective armor she wore falling off piece by piece, despite how hard she clung to it.
“Tryin’ to keep you safe.”
“I don’t need to be with you to be safe.” If she considered what the DAMC dealt with in the past, it might be the opposite. Getting involved with a club of bikers was always a risk.
“Fuck that. No one wants you and Ledger safer than me, babe. How ‘bout this? Move to the farm. Then me and you will work on shit. Together.”
“You mean you won’t force your way in the door?”
“No. Just askin’ you to gimme a fuckin’ chance to prove myself.”
“With no time limit?”
His lips pressed together.
“With no time limit, Zeke,” she insisted when he refused to answer. “How about a compromise? I’ll agree to move into the cabin if you agree not to rush things between us.”
Seconds ticked off in her head as she waited for him to answer.
