“I know.” I had already resigned myself to that reality, but I could tell Monica was still fighting it, or at least trying to figure out how to fix it. “It is what it is. I just have to try to be a part of my daughter’s life from here on out.” I nodded my head toward the door. “Take a walk with me?”
She hiked her large Gucci bag over her shoulder and picked up the bassinet. “Can we stop by Grace’s?”
“You’re going to give that to Grace?”
“Of course. As a gesture of apology for that wretched Elizabeth.”
“I don’t know if she’s home, but we can go by there and see. Here, I’ll carry it.” I took the bassinet from her hands and looked at the ornate wooden legs and fading varnish and wondered what Ash would have looked like as a baby sleeping inside, peacefully.
As Monica’s heels clacked down the sidewalk beside me, I laughed at the fantasy of her taking her shoes off and throwing them at Elizabeth. “What did you say to her?”
“Oh, I just told her that she was a thief and a liar. She stole something more precious from you than she could ever comprehend. Of course, she denied it and acted likeshe knew nothing. I told her I wouldn’t believe anything she said. She is the worst kind of person, Matt. A self-deluded, self-involved bitch.”
“Do you think maybe she didn’t know?”
We got to the corner and waited for the stoplight to turn. Monica sighed and pulled an envelope out of her bag. “She knew something, but she didn’t open the letters from Grace. She threw them away, all except for this one.” She handed me a sealed envelope. “If she was getting a letter every year and going to such great lengths to hide it from you, she must have known Grace was trying to tell you something. I don’t know if she really would’ve kept such a secret from you if she knew what it was, but denial through ignorance isn’t an excuse.”
I set down the bassinet, folded the envelope, and stuck it in my pocket. “You might be right.”
“You’re not gonna read it?”
We were approaching Grace’s building. “I’ll read it. Just not right now. This is it.” I looked up to the front door of the brownstone and then held the bassinet out to her.
“Aren’t you going to come with me?”
“No, Ash isn’t home yet. She’s still at school.”
“You don’t want to see Grace?”
“I can’t, Monica. Just go, I’ll wait here.”
I turned around and watched an old woman walk her dog down the street, but I couldn’t help but hear Grace answer the door. “Monica?”
“Hello, Grace. It’s good to see you. It’s been a long time.”
“Yes it has. You look great. Life has been well for you?” Grace was still being sweet, even under the shittiest of circumstances.
“It has, but it got even better when I learned that I wasan aunt.” Monica’s voice didn’t waver. She was determined to stay strong. “That’s why I’m here, to deliver this to you. I know Ash is a big girl now, but I wanted you to have it until the next baby in the family is born, wherever or whenever that might happen.”
“Thank you.” Grace sounded choked up, but I still couldn’t turn around.
There were a few moments of silence and then Monica said, “Here’s my number. Please keep in touch. I know you tried, and I’m sorry about you and Matt and this whole big mess.”
“I am, too.”
“You’re family now, Grace. Please know that.”
“Okay.”
A few seconds later, Monica was at my side. “Ready?”
“Yeah.”
“Matt, why are you taking this out on her?”
“I missed my daughter’s entire childhood, Monica.”
“But that wasn’t Grace’s fault.”
