“Understandably.”
She nervously brushed grass from her lap and sat up straight. I turned on my side, propped my head on my hand, and looked up at Grace’s face. She was high as a kite on justthe small amount we had smoked. Her eyes were narrow, red slits, and she was grinning maniacally.
I started to laugh. “Oh my god, you’re super stoned.”
She made an attempt at a serious face, “Don’t start!” she said, mock-scolding me. We both lost it and fell into a fit of silent, hysterical laughter.
“Grace!” Dan called out as we struggled to pull it together. “What a pleasure seeing you here.” He had a bushy mustache that moved dramatically when he talked. I fixated on it and didn’t realize that Grace had introduced me.
“Matthias?” She nudged me.
“Oh, sorry, nice to meet you, professor.” I leaned up and shook his hand.
He smiled strangely at me. “So, how’d you two meet?”
“He lives next door to me at Senior House,” Grace said.
“Oh.” There was something in his expression that made me think he was disappointed.
“Well, I’ll let you two get back to whatever it is you were doing.” He looked directly at Grace. “Make sure you stay out of trouble.”
Grace seemed far away, lost in thought as she stared at him walking away.
“He has a thing for you, huh?” I moved up on the blanket.
“I don’t know, but I can’t mess up here. I’m on thin ice already.” I pulled off a string that was hanging from the bottom of her dress. “Thanks,” she said, looking dazed.
“You’re welcome.” I blinked a few times and then yawned.
She patted her lap. “You wanna lay your head?” I rolled onto my back and laid my head on her thighs. She leanedagainst the tree again and relaxed before mindlessly running her hands through my hair. “Fast friends,” she said lazily.
“Yeah. I like you. You’re kinda weird.”
“I was gonna say that about you, I swear.”
“Did someone break your heart? Is that why you don’t date? Please tell me you don’t have a thing for Pornsake?”
She laughed as she dug around for the joint. “Why? Would that make you jealous?”
“Jealous? No, it’s your life. I mean, if you want to be kissing that guy and potentially ingesting any food item lost in that absurd mustache, be my guest.”
“Ha-ha. There’s nothing going on with Pornsake... and gross! And no, I didn’t get my heart broken. I just have to stay focused on school to keep my grades up.”
I knew there had to be something more than the fact that Grace wanted to stay focused, but I didn’t push her. We had only just met, yet she had spent the whole day with me and part of the day beforenotfocused on music, so I knew there was another reason. I might have thought she wasn’t into me and didn’t want to send mixed signals, but I saw the way she looked me up and down and the places that her eyes would land.
I took my camera, turned it around to face us, and then clicked the shutter three times.
6.I Needed to Know You
MATT
Later that week, in the dark room, I studied the negatives. I couldn’t fully make out Grace’s expression in one picture so I enlarged it to make a print. When the image began to appear, I realized right away that instead of looking into the camera lens, Grace was looking down at me, adoringly. It made me smile the entire time I was in the lab that day. I took the print after it dried and waited for Grace on the steps outside of Senior House. I removed a cigarette from behind my ear and lit it as I waited.
A minute later, Grace walked up, carrying her large cello case. “You want me to carry that for you?” I asked as I got to my feet.
“No, sit down. You got another one of those?” She pointed to the cigarette and then sat next to me on the steps. It was late in the day but still warm. I had a T-shirt, jeans, and no shoes on. She was wearing a white V-neck and cut-off Levis. The skin on her legs was tan and smooth. She heldtwo fingers to her lips, reminding me again that she wanted a cigarette.
“I only have this one, but I can share.” I handed it to her and then held up the photograph I had developed that day. “Our first photo together.” At the bottom I had used a grease pen on the blank photo paper. I had written “BFFs” on it so that when it developed, it stayed white.
