“Oh, that’s right.” I suddenly realized we were having the most normal conversation we’d ever had: just two people discussing the quotidian details of our lives.
Ash came into the kitchen wearing a crop top, and my eyes bugged out. “Excuse me, do you have a sweater to go with that?”
Ash rolled her eyes.
“That eye-rolling business has to stop. Your mom just asked you a question,” Matt said sharply.
Whoa.I hadn’t had that kind of backup in a long time.
“I know, Dad, I just . . .”
“Nope. Go upstairs and get a sweater.”
Ash huffed and left the room. Matt and I stared at each other for a few seconds before he walked over to me. “You look different. You seem happier.”
I hadn’t realized it before, but I think he was right. “Yeah, maybe.”
“You’re welcome to come with us, if you want.”
“That’s okay. I have some papers to grade.”
He looked at me steadily for a couple of beats and thenshrugged. “All right, see ya.” He leaned in and kissed me on the cheek, as if he had done it a million times before.
Once Ash came down the stairs, I followed them out of the front door and watched as they walked toward the subway. They were laughing... and it sounded like music. A part of me wanted to join them, but another part told me to stay. As much as I loved seeing Matt, and as much as I loved spending that night at his apartment, the endless rejections over the years—and the way he had taken the news about Ash—had scarred me so thoroughly that it was hard to believe he was there with us, like I had always wanted.
I never really doubted his love for me, but it scared me that he was keeping a safe distance. I needed to protect myself.
WE BEGAN SPLITTINGour weekends up. Ash would go to Matt’s on either Fridays or Saturdays, and we alternated Sundays.
The New York Philharmonic officially offered me the cellist seat for two weeks, so I spent my time away from Ash practicing the music and preparing for my two-week trip abroad.
Ash finished her freshman year of high school with phenomenal grades and received an award of overall excellence. Both Matt and I attended the ceremony, and he was beaming the entire time, like the proud dad that he was. When we left the auditorium that day, he hugged me for a long time and whispered, “You did good with her. Thank you. I’m so proud of my girls.”
My heart ached at his words. I didn’t know if anyone had ever told me they were proud of me, and there was no one in the world I wanted to hear those words from more than him.
The summer began and I knew Ash would get bored, so I signed her up for a summer photography workshop. As soon as Matt caught wind of it, he signed up, too. I knew he could have taught the class himself, but he just wanted the time with his daughter. Ash told me that once all her classmates found out who he was, he became a rock star to everyone, including the instructor. Ash told me he was even dabbling with a more artistic style from the documentary style that had made him famous.
It was strange how Matt and I were finding ourselves again; it was like we were picking up where we had left off, with both of us exploring our passions with renewed energy. Part of me felt like I was living the life I’d been meant to live. The only problem was that Matt and I weren’t exactly doing it together. We were running on parallel tracks.
One night, Ash seemed down.
“What’s wrong, honey?” I asked.
“Nothing,” she said in a flat voice.
“Talk to me.” I sat next to her on her bed.
“Dad told me that he was offered a job in Singapore forNational Geographic. He’s supposed to transfer in the fall.”
My eyes widened in shock. “What? When did he tell you that?” I could not imagine Matt leaving now after he and Ash had become so close and everyone was finally healing.
She started crying. “A long time ago. Like, right when we met, but now the thought of it makes me so sad.”
“What? I can’t even... when did this...” I barely knew how to respond. “I’ll talk to him.”
She wiped away the tears and stood up. “I’m so sick of you guys dancing around each other like you’re in junior high. I actually have friends with more mature relationships than the two of you.”
“That’s enough,” I said, sharply.
