“For sure, I loved that show!”
“Dani wrote for that show for years.”
“Who’s Dani?”
“Danielle, my wife…ex-wife.”
“Oh, yeah, of course. Maybe I did know that.”
“She won three Emmys for it.” People who were into TV knew who Dani was. Maybe this is Kate’s way of subtly insulting Dani. I guess it’s understandable. It’s probably intimidating knowing I was married to her.
“Oh, right. I was wondering why her last name is different. Is it Brolin?”
Aha.She knows exactly who Dani is. “Yeah, she kept her last name because she was already established as a writer when we met…and also Danielle Atkinson-Lloyd is kind of a mouthful. Danielle Brolin just sounds better. The boys have my last name, though.”
“Really? You’d think she’d want it. It actually sounds more writerly to me. She might have had more success with your last name.”
I’m stupefied right now. “She’s an award-winning writer. And none of it has anything to do with her last name. Let’s change the subject, shall we? I don’t think we want to sit here talking about my ex-wife, right?”
I can’t decide if I should just stop talking altogether. I lift my wine to set it on the vanity for a moment.
“Oh no, I don’t put drinks there. You can put it here.” She points to a coaster on her nightstand. It’s a wineglass, for god’s sake. I stand up anyway and put it on the nightstand, and then reach for the Bluetooth speaker again. I’m finally able to link my phone and turn on the Miles Davis Spotify station. The sound is terrible on this speaker, but it’s better than nothing.
“Oh, I like this, who is it?”
It’s the song “So What”with John Coltrane. Possibly one of the most recognizable songs in existence. I know she’s heard this song at least two hundred times, in at least two hundred lobbies or department stores.
“It’s Miles Davis,” I say.
“That’s right.”
There’s not enough time tonight to teach her about jazz. I lean down and kiss her lightly on the lips. She pulls me down onto the bed.
We have sex the way people do in their early twenties. It wasn’t unpleasant or awkward, it was…nice. It was sort of like Kraft Mac & Cheese. You know exactly what it tastes like, you know the texture and how you’ll feel afterward, and you know on some level that you really like it. At the same time, you know there are countless variations of mac-and-cheese. There’s gourmet, deconstructed, truffle oil, skillet fried, mac-and-cheesemade from the finest aged Gruyére from a tiny, misty, green village nestled next to the Alps in Switzerland, where the cows are, in fact, happy…
I can’t believe I’m comparing sex to mac-and-cheese. I’m getting dumber by the minute. It’s not Kate. She’s beautiful, sexy, smells good, moves well, and she definitely turns me on. It’s just that I felt like if I closed my eyes, it could have been anyone. I guess despite what Dani thinks of me, I want more than something that feels so…predictable. I’m not being snobby about it. Sometimes I prefer Kraft over the fancy shit! I’m just saying, it wasn’t memorable.
Kate is being sweet. Kissing my face. She’s lying naked on top of me. “That was amazing, like mind-blowing,” she says near my ear.
“Wow, thank you,” I say.
“It was my pleasure,” she replies.
Wait a minute. Was she saying she was amazing?It doesn’t matter. It’s been a very long time since I’ve felt this good, and I’m relieved it wasn’t awkward. I’m going to enjoy this moment.
“Do you mind if I lie here for a bit?” I say.
“No, not at all. You can stay as long as you want. You can stay all night, if you want,” she says flatly.
No, I don’t want!I don’t want that kid wondering what the hell is going on.
“Thank you, Kate, but I am going to go home tonight.”
“That’s okay. Did you know your phone has been blowing up for like half an hour? Are you gonna answer it?”
I can’t hear that well and didn’t turn the ringer on, which I usually do when I take it out of my pocket. “Yeah.” I reach over and grab it.
Five missed calls from Dani and one text from a second ago…my heart is already pounding out of my chest.
