“Sure,” he says.
“I’m under a lot of pressure right now, and I took it out on you. I didn’t really assess the situation. What were you trying to do anyway?” I laugh a little to lighten the mood and he laughs with me.
“I don’t know. There’s a lot of water in that slime we make with the Borax. The charged ions, like the salt in the water, make for a good conductor. It was just fun to make glowing, electrical slime.”
I jerk my head back, not expecting that answer. At the sametime, I notice the boys no longer have Star Wars bedspreads, and there is a picture of Noah with a girl from school on his bookshelf. It’s from one of those picture booths. It’s not romantic, just kind of goofy, but I’ve never seen it before.
“Wow, Noah, you actually knew what you were doing with the slime?”
“Yeah, what did you think, I was just gonna go squirting water into a light socket? Fork in the toaster?” He raises his eyebrows humorously. “Blow-dryer in the bathtub?”
I laugh loudly. “You are so much like your mom.”
“Do you think that’s a good thing?”
I’m immediately jolted out of the moment. How do I answer this? “Of course it’s a good thing. Your mom is great. She’s funny, clever. She’s a wonderful mother. You have her snarky sense of humor.” I wasn’t lying.
“She’s just not a good wife?”
“What? No. We’ve been over this. Your mom and I just don’t get along anymore. That’s it. Look, I’m sorry, Noah. Pretty lame of me to treat you like a little kid about the slime thing. You did cry, though, because I yelled at you.” I elbow him lovingly.
“I didn’t cry because you yelled at me.”
“Why were you crying, then?”
“Because I thought you would think the slime was cool. Instead, the whole thing just made me feel dumb.”
I’m struck with guilt; this is how Dani has made me feel countless times.
For a moment, the silence is heavy in the room. He doesn’t realize the impact his statement will have on me from here on out. How do kids break our hearts, put them back together, and then teach us how to be good human beings again just by virtue of their own virtue?
“I do think the slime thing is cool. I didn’t understand it. It’smy fault. I should have listened. I’ll be a better listener. I want to know everything, Noah. Everything going on in your life. Everything about school and you and…” I walk to the bookshelf and pick up the photo, “Is this Zoe Bennett, all grown up?”
“She’s not my girlfriend, we’re just friends,” he says quickly and defensively.
“No, I know. I like Zoe. She’s a sweetheart. Her parents are good people too. Let me finish up some things around here and then we’ll go get a late dinner and keep talking, okay?”
“Sounds good,” he says, smiling.
I walk over and hug him. “I love you, Noah.”
“Love you too, Dad.”
First fire as a solo parent…extinguished!
10
you could hear me whisper then
Danielle
It’s almost completely dark out as I pull up to the complex. I glance at the clock: six-fifteen. I told Alicia I’d meet her at the salon at seven-thirty. She got me an appointment last minute with her hairdresser. She said I needed a “drastic physical change” so I’m going blond. Well, blond-ish. My hair has been dark brown, almost black, since I was born. I’ve entertained the idea of going lighter as I’ve gotten older, something softer, but Alex always said he liked my striking dark hair.
Divorce is always a good time to bleach your hair, I figure.
I’m cursing myself inside for fighting for so long with Alex on the porch. I’ll hardly have any time to settle in with this last load of things I’ve brought to the apartment. I park in the front fire lane, turn on my hazards, and jump out. As I’m unloading my suitcases and a couple of boxes to the front of the building, a woman walks out. She looks to be in her sixties, wearing pink scrubs.
“Hi, girlie.”
