The hot mom was still checking me out as she got closer to the front of the line. “Are you trying to sabotage everything for me, P? I could have fun with someone like her.”
“She’s married. Kind of a hussy, though. She probably has hep C.”
“You’re so judgmental. No wonder why you have no friends here.”
“I have friends. Ling’s my friend.”
“Ling lives in another state.”
“And I like Crystal, my neighbor. You’ll meet her in a bit. We’ve been to a couple of happy hours together.”
“What does ‘been to a happy hour’ mean?” The hot mom came up to the table and I turned my full attention to her. “Hellooooo,” I said, smiling wide.
“I need two tickets to parents night.” She looked me up and down but I couldn’t tell if she liked what she saw, or if she was intimidated by the prison thing.
“Do you need a date for it?” I asked.
She giggled. She was still into me despite my fake criminal record. Handing over a wad of cash, she let her hand linger in mine for a few seconds longer than necessary. Penny fake-sneezed on our connected hands. The woman pulled out of my grasp and scowled at Penny.
“Oh, sorry. Better wash up; I’ve had an icky cold for a month now. Thanks for supporting the PTA. See you soon!”
As the hot mom walked away, I turned to Penny. “You have no shame.”
“Always playing with fire, Gavin. I told you, she’s married.”
“So are you. It’s more fun to play with fire.”
“Don’t be that guy.” She elbowed me in the side. “Here comes Crystal.” A thin, slightly disheveled woman in her forties walked up and hugged Penny.
“Morning, lovely. I haven’t seen you in a while,” Crystal said.
“Crystal, this is Gavin.” Penny jutted a thumb at me.
“Oh, hey. Penny’s told me a lot about you.”
I can’t imagine what Penny would say about me. Probably nothing nice. I smiled. “Really? Huh. Well, nice to meet you.” I shook her hand. Immediately, I knew Crystal wasn’t the type to be intimidated easily, or be jealous. That’s exactly the kind of friend Penny needed.
“Let’s get a drink soon,” she said to Penny.
“Yes, soon,” Penny replied.
IN THE CARon the way home I said, “Why didn’t you make a concrete plan with Crystal? That’s what you have to do to maintain friendships.”
“Don’t worry about me. Crystal’s divorced with four kids. She’s really cool but she’s got a lot going on. I’ll see her when I see her.”
It started to snow and the roads were slick with ice. “Slow down,” I told her. “Nice way to drop in that detail about her being divorced, by the way. But you know she’s not my type.”
“Why? Because she doesn’t look like a supermodel or a tatted-up emo chick?”
“Slow the fuck down, Penny, you’re scaring me. Pull over, please, and let me drive.”
She huffed and puffed as she pulled into a parking lot. “Why do you think I’m such a bad driver?”
“Because youarea bad driver. You’ve been in four car accidents in the last two years.”
“Fender benders.”
“Just get out and let me drive.”
