I took a sip. “So, um, remember Evelyn? The girl that I walked home that one night? She used to come in here once in a while?”
“I remember,” he said, laughing.
I didn’t understand why he was acting so strange.
“She’s pregnant. We’re going to have a baby.” I shot him an ear-splitting grin.
He didn’t smile back. He refilled my drink and then leaned over the bar. “You don’t have a clue, do you, Lucian?”
Had I ever told him my name? I didn’t think so. “Clue about what?”
As he moved an inch closer to my face, I recognized something in his greenish eyes. “Who are you?” I asked.
“I got banished. I tried to sleep with Brooklyn, and Mona caught me.”
“Zack?”
He rolled his eyes and nodded. “You’re really losing it, man. Like, what is wrong with you?”
“Why do you look like this guy? And you were so good! How could she banish you?”
“I’m this guy forever. It’s part of my punishment.” I didn’t want to tell him that his new look was actually an improvement. “It wasn’t just the Brooklyn thing,” he said. “They found out I was zapping my couple pretty bad so they would stay in the house and be a little confused.”
“Wow! That really is pretty despicable, man.”
“Yeah, I know. I feel bad,” he said, but I wasn’t sure he really did. “So I hate to break it to you, Lucian—because you’re my friend—but you must know that things will eventually drop for you. Storm clouds are forming.”
“Geez, Zack, why don’t you be a little more cryptic? You’re starting to sound like Mona now. And don’t tell me bad things are going to happen if you have no clue at all.” I looked around to see if anyone was in earshot of us. “Why do you want to ruin this for me? I think I’m becoming human. I think it’s really happening.”
“You’re definitely losing your gifts, that’s for sure. You should have spotted me in a second.” He started wiping down the counter as he continued. “I don’t know. But I can’t be in this dude’s body, in this shitty bar for an eternity while you’re off living the life. Where’s the justice in that?”
I stood and pushed the stool back forcefully, sending it screeching back a few feet. I threw a twenty on the counter. “Thanks for being a good friend. Sorry, you got thrown out. Don’t blame me though, Zack. I had nothing to do with it.”
When I turned to walk away, he said quietly, “Storm’s coming.”
“Fuck you,” I said, without turning around. I was sad our friendship was coming to an end that way. Zack was just bitter.
I tried to fly home but couldn’t get off the ground, so I started walking. I walked and walked, feeling more pathetic than ever. I wasn’t a man or an angel. I was nothing. I popped into another bar and found a normal bartender to chat with. I drank three whiskeys, told him how excited I was about having a baby. I hoped he’d give me some congratulatory life hacks, but instead it was all negative.
“Listen brother, prepare thyself. You are so in for it,” he said. “You should kiss sleeping good-bye right now.” Not that sleepless nights would be a new thing for me, though I was needing more and more of it as time went on.
“Also, there won’t be any time for this…” He gestured toward the glass. “Drinking in bars midday unless you want your wife to leave you. And one other thing—you’re probably not gonna get any action for a while. They get what they want—a baby—and that’s all we’re needed for. She’ll literally be repulsed by you.”
“What? That can’t be true.” I had been made to make Evey feel good.
“You’re just a man,” he said. “There’s only so much you can do.”
I was feeling terrible and drunk. My superhero metabolism was no longer working at all. On the way back home, I passed a department store and popped in to get a suit. The woman helping me kept saying, “Are you sure you want all black? Black shirt, tie, everything?”
“Yes.”
“Do you need some dress shoes?”
“Something wrong with these boots?” I said.
“Let me help you. You’re too damn good-looking to spoil your suit with shoes like that. Let’s get you a white shirt and some nice shoes and keep everything else black, okay?”
“Sure,” I slurred. My ears perked up at her compliment.Good-looking.
