The doctor came in and said he wanted to keep me overnight. I said, “Okay,” and then dozed off alone. I woke sometime after midnight. It was completely dark, but I could see that Lucian was back, in the same chair again. I smelled whiskey. I closed my eyes and feigned sleep, but a moment later, he was standing over me; I could feel him.
“Why? Why, God?” He was in pain. Tormented Lucian would not be easy to talk to. My eyes were closed when I felt his lips on my forehead. “Good-bye, Evey. I love you.”
Without opening my eyes, I said, “Whatever you’re thinking about doing, forget it. It’s not happening.” I looked up at him.
His face was swollen and red with tears. “I can’t put you through any more hell than I already have.”
“I had a miscarriage. It had nothing to do with you.” I started to cry. “What are you going to do? Kill yourself? You’re going to leave me after we’ve been married and I’m lying in a hospital bed because I’ve had a miscarriage? How could you do that to me?”
He shook his head and smiled, small and tight. “You won’t remember anything,” he said softly. He looked pleased with himself.
“Iwantto remembereverything.”
“Not this.”
“Lucian, please.”
The nurse came in and pushed more pain medication through my IV.
“Please, Lucian, don’t do anything stupid.” As I started to doze off from the pain medicine, I chanted the prayer out loud. The nurse was gone. It was just the two of us.
He held his hand to my forehead and said it with me.“Angel of God, my Guardian dear to whom His love commits me here, ever this night be at my side, to light and guard, to rule and guide. Amen.”
Everything was black after that.
SHE WOULDN’T REMEMBERa thing, and no one else would either. I’d be gone and leave no mark at all. Poof, just like that. She’d be free of me. Someone would be assigned to protect her, she’d meet a real man, and everything would be fine. She’d have babies and healthy pregnancies and a good life and a great career. I’d gotten her this far; I couldn’t ruin her now.
It felt like days that I was standing there, on the edge of the highway. All it would take was walking five feet. I saw a bus coming and timed it. Five… four… three… then my phone buzzed.
Evey:I need you now. Please, I’m hurting.
Every time I thought about Evey in pain, it felt as though I was being burned at the stake. Was this His divine comedy?
Flying back to the hospital, I fell to the ground three times. I could barely fly anymore.
When I entered her hospital room, she was shaking her head at me. “Some husband you are. Running off to kill yourself while your wife sobs in a hospital room alone.”
“You don’t understand, Evelyn.”
“Neither do you,” she yelled.
There was a nurse on the other side of the room, restocking the cabinets.
“Take it easy.”
“I know what you were gonna do. Are you insane? The doctor said that had I not had that hematoma, the baby and pregnancy would have probably been normal.” She jabbed a finger at my chest.
“Ow, easy.”
“Come closer, you jerk.” Evey grabbed my ear and yanked me toward her face.
“Geez, relax. I fell hard three times on my way over here. I’m kind of sore.”
“Bet getting your ear tugged on is nothing compared to being hit by a bus,” she whispered. I started to pull away, but she yanked me back down. “Did you hear anything? They said the fetus was otherwise healthy.” Her voice was getting louder. “No wings detected. Just normal human baby parts, Lucian, you ass.”
I shook my head. “Shh. No need for name-calling, Evey. Anyway, I still don’t think it’s possible.”
“Will you just wait and see? What if you really are becoming human?” She glanced at the clock. “I’m tired. It’s four in the morning.”
