“Right. Who cares?”
A moment later, we were asleep.
IN THE MORNING, I woke to Lucian’s head on my chest and his hand pulling my legs around him. He stopped and sat up on his knees. He cupped and kneaded my left breast, but not in a sexual way. His eyes were open, wide and weary.
“What is it, Lucian?”
His face scrunched up. He swallowed. It looked like he was going to cry. “No, God.” He breathed hard as he looked at the ceiling.
I was already starting to cry. “What, Lucian?”
“I felt something. A lump.”
I frantically kneaded my breast until I felt it—a small lump on the side, right near the bottom. “Oh. Oh no.” I was stunned, slammed back into reality.
Lucian got up quickly and got dressed. “I’m taking you to a hospital right now.”
“I don’t have health insurance,” I mumbled.
“It doesn’t matter,” he replied irritably.
He was rushing around the room, throwing our stuff in bags. I stopped him near the door and took his beautiful face in my hands. I leaned up on my toes and kissed him slowly. When I pulled away, he was shaking his head. “Please, relax. It’s probably nothing. It’s the day after our wedding,” I told him.
He squinted, eyes full of pain. “This is my punishment.”
“No, don’t say that. We’re in love, and everything will be fine.” I kissed him again and tried to deepen the kiss, but he seemed far away.
“Get dressed, please, Evey. I want to take you to the doctor.”
I pinched his nose. “If it’s nothing, you’re making this up to me.”
“If it’s nothing, Evey, I’ll fly you to the fucking moon.”
“Really? Can you do that?”
“No, I can’t do that. Don’t be silly. There’s no atmosphere.”
I was laughing, but he was serious. “Lighten up, grumpy,” I said, knowing there was nothing we could do in that moment.
“If it’s nothing and I’m overreacting, I will do anything you want. I’d do anything you want anyway, but we are going get it checked out right now.”
WHAT’S THE DEALwith the medical system? We sat in the ER for four hours and were told three times that Evey’s situation wasn’t a medical emergency and to call her doctor, rather than continue waiting. I stood at the counter waiting, angry.
“Cancer isn’t a medical emergency?” I shouted at the intake employee. “Are you kidding me? She could be dying.”
“She needs tests,” the clerk replied. “Tests that can be performed in a specialist’s office… tomorrow.”
“Fuck it all to hell!” I said. The clerk grimaced.
I took Evey by the hand and quickly led her to the car. It was her twelve-year-old Honda that sounded like a jet engine every time you started it. “You need a new car,” I told her. Evey hadn’t said anything to me in a long time. I had an empty feeling inside. My heart ached. It was her—I was feeling her feelings. I glanced over as I drove and noticed that she was crying quietly. “Don’t be scared, please.”
“You’rescaring me,” she choked out.
“What? No. I’m sorry.”
I pulled the car over into a strip mall parking lot, got out, and rushed around to the passenger side. After opening the door, I pulled her out and held her to my chest. Her body relaxed. I wrapped my wings around us, so we were cloaked.
She brushed the inside of my wing with her hand. “You’ve lost a lot more.”
