“Because once I say it…” My voice roughens slightly. “There’s no undoing it.”
Rain hammers on the roof.
Sloane steps closer carefully, like approaching a wounded animal. Maybe she is. Maybe I am, too. “You said he knew something was coming.”
My jaw tightens.
“You said he wasn’t really operating under your command.”
I stare out at the mountains disappearing beneath sheets of rain.
“And this part… acceptable damage.”
My eyes meet hers. “Cost of doing business,” I say.
The way she looks at me finally does it. And I’m too damn tired to hold the line anymore. I exhale slowly. “Whatever his mission was… we were expendable.”
The room goes still. Sloane doesn’t move... doesn’t breathe. “But he was recon.”
“He wasn’t recon,” I continue quietly. “Not after.”
“After what?” It comes out strained.
“After he disappeared for a while. No explanation. I was told by the top brass not to ask. Intel re-attached him to us three days before deployment.”
She asks more carefully now. “And you don’t know why?”
I laugh once under my breath, humorless. “That’s the problem.” I glance at her finally. “Nobody ever gave us the full picture.”
The sky crackles. The floorboards shake.
I lean both hands against the windowsill, staring into the darkness. “We were supposed to secure a section of the city while another operation moved through farther east. Standard containment. Hold the line. Watch the streets. Keep movement controlled.”
The memory starts seeping through before I can stop it. Always the same…
Heat. Smoke. Concrete dust coating the inside of my mouth.
Phoenix standing too still beside the Humvee while everyone else checked gear.
Watching buildings instead of people.
“He kept disappearing off comms,” I mutter. “Getting information nobody else heard.”
“Did command know?”
“Yes.”
“And they let it happen?”
“They expected it.”
She shifts, exhaling through her nose.
I continue before I lose momentum. “Something changed the morning of the ambush.” My throat tightens slightly. “I could feel it. Intel got messy. Timelines shifted. Phoenix looked…” I shake my head once. “Focused.”
Sloane steps closer. “What happened?”
I close my eyes briefly. Then let myself fall back into it.
