“I'm trying,” I said. “I'm staying in the house instead of finding reasons to leave. I'm showing up to the things that matter to him instead of finding reasons to be somewhere else.” I paused. “It's slower than it should be. But I'm not pulling back.”
“That's progress,” Luka said, in the tone that meant he wasn't done. “But you have a pattern, Troy. Things get real enough that they start to cost you something, and you find reasons they won'twork and you use those reasons as permission to leave. I need you to tell me that's not what's happening here.”
“It's not.” The certainty in my own voice was real enough that it surprised me a little. “I've thought about it. I know the pattern. I'm watching for it.” I met his eyes. “I don't want to run this time. That's not a small difference.”
He held my gaze for a beat. Then something in him settled.
“Good.” He signaled the barista for the check. “Then stop wasting today sitting in a booth with me cataloguing the same dead ends on Rafael when he's gone to ground and there's nothing new to work with.” He pulled his coat straight. “Take Declan out tonight.”
I waited.
“A real date,” Luka said. “Not the house. Not strategy. Not sitting in the kitchen with half your attention on the exits.” He looked at me steadily. “His fight is tomorrow. He needs to decompress and he needs to feel like a man instead of a fighter on a countdown or a target with a security detail around him. And you need to practice choosing this out loud, on purpose, instead of just letting it accumulate.”
“I've never taken anyone on a date,” I said.
“I know.”
“You're not going to tell me that's fine.”
“It's fine. You'll figure it out.” The check came and he put cash down without looking at the total. “Pick somewhere he'd like. Get there before him if you can. Don't spend the whole night running exit assessments on the other patrons.” He stood and buttoned his coat. “The point isn't the dinner. The point is showing him you made a decision. That you chose this deliberately instead of just falling into it and calling it circumstance.”
He left before I could answer. Moved through the warm, crowded room and out the door with the kind of self-possessionthat made spaces get out of his way without anyone quite understanding why.
I stayed in the booth after he'd gone. Held my coffee. Watched snow collect on the ledge outside the window, soft and steady, laying clean over everything the city had been trying to hide.
Take Declan on a proper date, then.
I'd never actually done that. Not with anyone. I knew how to be useful. Knew how to show up armed when things went wrong. Knew how to stay awake through the night watching a door so someone else could sleep. I knew a dozen ways to make myself indispensable that had nothing to do with sitting across a table from someone and letting them see me without the function attached.
But Luka wasn't wrong. Staying in the house wasn't the same as going toward. And Declan had spent too long being treated like a problem to solve or a target to protect or a history to manage.
He was a man who deserved to feel like someone had decided on him.
I picked up my cold coffee, finished it, and put the cup down.
Then I put some money on the table, pulled on my jacket, and went to figure out how to be someone who made decisions out loud.
The flower shop was three blocks from the coffee shop. I stood outside it for five full minutes trying to talk myself out of this ridiculous plan before finally going inside.
The woman behind the counter looked up when the bell chimed. “Can I help you?”
“I need flowers. For a guy. Not sure what kind.”
She smiled. “What's the occasion?”
“First date. Sort of. It's complicated.”
“Complicated how?”
“We've been seeing each other for a while but we never did the formal thing.” I shoved my hands in my pockets. “I'm trying to be better about it.”
Her expression softened. “That's sweet. Does he have a favorite flower?”
“I have no idea.”
“Let me put together something that works.” She moved toward the coolers and started pulling stems. “You want classic romantic or more casual?”
“Casual. Definitely casual.”
