“Why am I not surprised you’d be the pushover?”
“You know how my mom was … still is. She was so hard on me growing up. About grades, colleges, jobs, internships, sports. Way harder on me than she ever was with Lucas and Noah. I never felt good enough for her. So yeah, I would never want a kid to feel that way. Guess that makes me a pushover.”
She gave Owen a small smile that grew bigger as he brought their intertwined hands to his lips and kissed the inside of her wrist. The soft touch sent goosebumps up her arms; the sensation far more arousing than she’d expected. Her head buzzed from the wine and the comfort she found in letting her walls down.
“Your mom never was my biggest fan. I wasn’t ambitious enough for her taste.”
Ava hummed, neither agreeing nor disagreeing.
Owen let go of her hand and tucked some of her hair behind her ear. “How are you doing? These last couple of weeks have been heavy for you.”
Ava traced the rim of her wineglass with her finger, thinking through her feelings before responding. She was trying to be better about facing her grief instead of ignoring it, hoping it would simply go away.
“I’m okay. Some mornings I wake up and I forget Dad is …gone. It’s like he’s on vacation, and I’m waiting for him to come back. And then the smallest things can happen, and it triggers these intense emotions when I least expect it.”
While she talked, her knee unconsciously bounced. She’d opened the faucet of her emotions, and it was hard to turn off. And yet, she held back the one truth she hadn’t dared to say out loud, because no one would understand. Or rather, the only person who might understand was standing next to her and confessing her regrets out loud scared her.
Like he could pick up on her thoughts, Owen pushed off the counter and turned to face her. He slid his large hands up her knees, pulling her legs apart to make room to stand between them. His firm touch grounded her, bringing her nervous tic to a stop.
“Do you want to talk about it? These triggers?” His voice was low and calm and made Ava want to bury her face in his chest.
“I love being around Avery. He’s such a cool kid. Loveable and smart and adventurous. And he’s just as cute as you were. But it can also hurt so damn bad sometimes knowing I’ll never have that. That I’ll never get to see my dad as a grandpa. I’ll never have that experience with him, and the regret is overwhelming sometimes.”
Emotion scratched at her throat, her tears begging to come to the surface. A couple slid down her cheeks, leaking from her eyes without permission. Owen rubbed one of her thighs with his hand and caught her tears with the other. He didn’t offer assurances or tell her it was okay, and that gave her the strength to keep going.
“I thought I had more time. And if I’d known, maybe I would’ve done things differently, you know?”
Ava’s tears kept coming. Silent, unassuming tears like a dripping faucet. Owen cupped either side of her face with his hands to wipethem from her cheeks. His brown eyes softened as he looked at her, reminding her of smooth, melted chocolate.
“I get it,” he said.
She held his gaze and let his understanding settle over her. It wasn’t a false assurance, because he knew her past. Hewasher past, and he knew her.
Owen pressed a kiss to her forehead and pulled away, going back to resting his hands on her spread thighs.
Ava reached for her wineglass and frowned when she found it empty.
“More wine?” he asked
“Please,” she said.
Owen squeezed her thighs before taking the glass from her hand. She wiped the last of her tears and slid off the counter to return to her stool at the island. Owen filled her glass and grabbed a beer for himself before settling on the stool next to her. Another round of muffled laughter sounded from upstairs, making her smile into her wineglass.
“Do you want more kids?” Ava asked.
Owen took a long drink before responding. “I wouldn’t mind. Avery’s asked about having a sibling for years, but Maddy always said she was one and done. And while I was involved with Maddy’s pregnancy as much as I could be, I still missed out on so much since we weren’t in a relationship. If I had the chance, I’d want to go through the experience again with a partner. But if it never happens, I’m also fine. Avery is all I could ask for and more,” Owen said.
Ava nodded, processing his answer. She couldn’t help the small swell of hope that blossomed in her chest, even as she ignored the glaring issues that stood in the way. At least until they decided on their future.
He turned on his stool to face her, his knees pressing against the outside of her thigh. Owen took another long drink and set it down. “Why do you ask? Are you offering?” He gave her a smirk that had her shoving at his shoulder again.
“Not funny.”
“Wasn’t trying to be.”
Ava shook her head at him, unable to stop her smile. “I’ve missed this,” she confessed.
“Me too, Birdie.”
