I haven’t gotten up the courage to join in for ice bath bonding with Evelyn and the other girls. Each time the pale shards float atop the water, it takes me back to the day of the accident. I still go to the recovery room to spend time with them, though, and I’m finally starting to feel like I’m finding my place at Ballet Potomac.
Once Evelyn, Veronique, and Sara are done with their ice baths and toweled off, I say my goodbyes and head to physicaltherapy. The pain from my injury is inescapable, my hip joint still a weak spot, but since I’ve started going to sessions, it’s been more manageable on the longer days.
We go over a handful of exercises, and Heather shows me a few she wants me to do at home and between classes. At first, I was going to my sessions purely to appease Mistress Maral. Now I look forward to finding ways to work with my body instead of pushing against it.
Blake was bold enough to text me about our “misunderstanding.” A full week after the fact. According to Lark, he and Nina have announced their relationship to the higher-ups at the Institute now that they’ve been together a few years.Years! I’d care if I didn’t feel like I’d already wasted enough energy on him. Now his number is blocked and Lark’s overjoyed at not having to see him outside company hours.
As I grab my bags and head out to leave, I pass by one of the small, empty studios used for the pre-professional students. A few times since Jax’s disappearance, I’ve taken to dancing for an hour by myself, rehearsing different variations I learned at the Institute. I don’t get to flourish my movements when I perform with the ensemble in the corps, so coming here a few times a week allows me to express the freedom I once had under the spotlight.
It’s a sensation I hope to reclaim one day. Physical therapy may be helping, but I know my hip injury is permanent. There’s no dancing without dealing with it, even if it’s less of a burden now than it was when I’d been too stubborn to allow myself help.
Connecting my phone to the Bluetooth speaker, I throw on the Black Swan variation and begin to dance. I crave the breeze rushing against me as I leap and jump, kick and move. Warmth spreads feverishly through my limbs. After three times back to back, I can’t shake the desire to danceagain. I’m thirsty and hot,so I quickly grab my bottle, then step onto my towel and pour the water on my head.
What the heck am I doing?
After going through the combination a few more times, I crave the weariness that comes from a long day of rehearsals, but my body is having none of that. It’s invigorated, wanting more, even as sweat beads along my chest. My limbs tingle and heat curls low in my belly. I pull at my damp leotard, moving it quickly to fan myself. For the first time since the accident, the idea of an ice bath actually seems appealing. So appealing that I nearly turn and sprint for the recovery room.
Holy cannoli. It’s solstice.
Jax warned me. And now I know that solstice does, in fact, still affect me even though I’m mortal. I pace, clawing at my arms, wanting to claw off my clothes instead. Frantic need coils inside me, and I shove my hand down my leotard, palm grazing the silvery marking etched between my breasts. I squeeze my eyes shut, rubbing my thighs together while I think of Jax, wondering if he’s as uncomfortable as I am right now.
He better freaking be.
Of course, that thought dominoes into the idea of him stroking himself.Handling things. I have no clue what that even looks like for him, but I whimper, stuck between wanting to control these impulses and give into them.
“I’m here, Tempest.” Jax’s whisper caresses my ear, reverberating beneath my belly.
A voice that’s not in my head.
The breeze of his words curls over my shoulder, and I take two deep breaths and open my eyes. My icy-blue stare reflects back at me in the mirror. Frosted breath wraps around my cheek, puffed out from a pale-blue mouth that’s framed by a chiseled jaw. Severe cheekbones glide up toward his eyes, twin panes of shattered glass that sparkle at me.
“Jax,” I rasp, savoring the weight of him behind me, even though he’s not touching me. But hasn’t that been his way? I’ve felt him for weeks now. My very own gravity. “Y-you’re really here.”
“I am.” His breath sends a shiver skating across my shoulder blades. I don’t want to pull away from it, though. No, if anything, I want to lean into its chill, feel its bite against my skin. He hesitates a moment, eyes flashing up to meet mine in the mirror. “I’ve missed you so much, Tempest.”
“I’ve missed you too.” The words are a half-choked sob.
There’s nothing imaginary about the way my pulse flutters beneath his icy stare. There’s nothing imaginary about how his mere presence comforts me every time we’re together.
“How did you get back here?”
“I may have bartered with a very understanding spring harbinger who’s assigned to the East Coast,” Jax says with a smirk. “I don’t know how much time I’ll have before they find out what I’ve done. I just had to see you. Solstice is hell without you. The idea of you being here, going through it alone…” He growled. “I don’t want to waste this moment. Not when you can finally see me. Not when I can do this.”
His hand skates up my throat, instantly sating the fire burning through my body. I feel each brush of the pads of his finger, pale blue and covered with small, feathered lines. It’s like winter’s claimed every inch of him.
Turning my face toward him, he lowers his lips to mine, kissing me so softly that it breezes over my mouth. I deepen it, exploring his tongue with my own, inhaling the rich, wintry pine that comes with the nearness of him. Each sweep of his tongue is decadent and refreshing. My body bows with his, like a willow on the breeze, pinned in place and blowing away all at once.
Pausing the kiss, he runs his nose over my cheek, grazing me with so much gentleness I feel more porcelain doll than woman.
“Is this how solstice always is?” I tingle, desperate for more as I zip my legs together. I don’t want this to stop. I don’t want this to be a dream. The way he treats me like there’s no one else in the world he belongs to… I want to sink my teeth into it, consume and keep that feeling with me forever.
I want real, fierce passion. I wanthim.
“Yes.” His eyes drop to the floor, tone thick and gravelly. “Though hopefully, one day, we won’t be racing time.”
Just like that? He’s real and now he’s gone? “You’re going to have to leave?”
“I will. Temporarily. But I’ll always come back to you, Tempest.” He gives me a mischievous grin that lightens the air between us. Then he removes his jacket and shirt, and they disappear into nothing when he drops them to the floor. My pulse ricochets when he wraps his hand around my own, sliding them up his chest to between his pecs, settling them atop the identical silver swirls there. Only, he doesn’t just have the one mark. There are hundreds of markings everywhere, spanning his chest, abs, arms. I move my hand, and he releases his hold, turning me so I can explore the panes of his body.
