Luckily, I wiped down the mirror after my shower. No idea what he’d think seeing streaks of lipstick with some other guy’s name. I don’t see Blake as the jealous type, but I also don’t feel like explaining these odd occurrences.
When I don’t immediately open the door, Blake takes it upon himself.
“I hate that I never get to see you anymore, baby,” he says, twisting the metal. “No more stolen moments at the studio.”
“Well, we’re both busy with rehearsal, and we have early mornings ahead of us,” I ramble. What the hell am I saying? I shouldn’t be talking about an early morning, I should be asking him about taking our relationship public, like I’d practiced—or tried to practice—with Dr. Tanner.
My nerves scatter beneath my skin as the door creaks open. Following Blake into the bedroom, I peek over his shoulder,scanning every inch of the space. I heave a sigh of relief when nothing is different from how I left it an hour ago, though I can’t deny the twinge between my ribs.
Blake tosses his bag in the corner, then wraps his arms around my waist. “Such a long day. I’m glad you were home.”
“You are?” The words are out before I realize how awkward they sound. I’m just thrown off by his first unprompted visit and the strange things that have been happening. “I mean, I’m glad too!”
Glancing around the room again, I make sure Jax isn’t here. I turn my attention to Blake, who’s swaggering backward until he lands on the bed. He lies on top of the comforter, palm grazing it in invitation. I shove my hands in my pockets, swaying side to side. “How’sSwan Lake?”
“You know, the usual.” He cocks his head to the side, and I’m certain he can sense my hesitation.
Why am I hesitating?We’ve done this dance many times before. There’s nothing holding me back—other than the possibility that the immortal ghost of a man could blow in here like a blizzard at any moment. Right now, all signs point to him being gone. Who knows if he’ll ever show up again?
That thought stings.
And that gives me pause. I shouldn’t care. Idon’tcare. The desire to see Jax right now, to send Blake home, that has to do with the answers I want, the closure they could possibly provide. Simple as that.
Blake pushes up on the bed, scooting down to its edge before he extends a hand out to me. I take it, and he tugs me between his legs, his palms skimming up the outsides of my thighs. Why am I thinking about an invisible being when this man’s right here?
Ask him, Jolie. Stop putting it off.
It takes me a moment to chase down a good segue.
“I’m looking forward to the showcase,” I say, running a hand through his thick waves, playfully mussing them.
He glowers and gently guides my hand to his shoulder, training his blond locks back into place. “You sure it won’t be too hard for you? If it’s easier, I can just grab the recording and send it to you after.”
It’s like an ice bucket tossed on my momentary playfulness. An all-too-sobering reminder that I screwed things up at the Institute. “Do you not want me there?”
Way to sound super insecure, Jolie.
“Not at all, baby,” Blake scoffs, almost too quickly. Does he know the real reason they let me go? Is he ashamed to be seen with me because I wasn’t invited back?
I never spoke with him about my injury. Not officially. The times I mentioned the pain around my hip joint and the ones that shot down my leg, he just chalked it up to the usual things, reminding me that ballerinas put their bodies through the wringer.
It comes with the territory.
But the perfectly normal way we torture our bodies isn’t as usual as most believe. These past weeks integrating physical therapy into my routine has shown me that. While my injury still persists, I am learning how to manage it better and adapt. My body is far less wrecked at the end of each day.
“Come here.” He pulls me into his lap, tucking the wild strands of my hair behind my ear. “I just know how much you miss dancing for the Institute.”
“I’ll be fine,” I reassure him. Maybe it will be hard, but I still want to support him and Lark. “I’m excited to come. Bet you’re blowing them away with your performance as Prince Siegfried.”
Besides, being there might show the Institute that I don’t hold it against them for letting me go. That I’m still open to coming back. It’s a long shot, but I want to get back there,be with my friends and reclaim my place under their spotlight. Even though things are going better at Ballet Potomac, it doesn’t hurt to keep my options open. Who knows how long it will take for them to see me as a viable option for soloist, much less principal?
“I don’t know about blowing them away, but I’d be doing better if I wasn’t partnering Nina.”
“I’m sure it’s not that bad.”
“Not that bad?” Blake scoffs, clearly aggravated by this production’s Odette. “She stormed out right after rehearsal today. Wouldn’t even stay to go over the final pas de deux after the director complained about us being out of sync. How are we supposed to be ready for the showcase if she isn’t fucking there to rehearse?”
“That’s tough. I’m sorry, Blake.” I give him a sympathetic smile. For a moment, it’s almost like old times. How it was before the accident, when we would commiserate about our long days at rehearsals. “Maybe she just needs the night to cool off and rest.”
