Once they’ve strapped his mate onto a stretcher and he hears their words that she’s alive—she’s safe—the harbinger places a hand over his unclaimed mate mark. He savors the beautiful beat of her heart against his palm. Holds on to it as he returns home.
Fate is waiting with his fathers. A cross of pity and disappointment spans their faces.
“You’ll forfeit the rest of this winter and the next.”
“You’ll forfeit going earthside.”
“You’ll forfeit earning your frost marks.”
The harbinger doesn’t care, though. He’d forfeit it all to see the joy on his mate’s face again. The vibrancy of her passion. Hisdreams may have ended much too soon, but hers don’t have to. Each beat of her heart reminds him of that.
She’s worth it. Always.
As the weeks of his miserable banishment pass, he curls up in bed, clinging to the comforting thud between his ribs. Clinging toher. While he’d never take back his choice, he mourns the colorful memories of an immortal life he may never get with her.
Speeding through the trees. Painting the world in ice and snow by her side. Spending solstice buried deep within her, claiming each other over and over again.
Never apart.
After a while—he doesn’t know when, since he refuses to leave his room—he begs his fathers to bring Fate to see him. She sits on the edge of his bed, taking his hand in hers.
“I need you to do something for me—”
“I cannot undo this,” she says, a tear streaking her cheek. “I’m sorry. Everything’s been set in motion to balance the scale. You must let destiny play out as it’s meant to.”
“I know.”
Fate’s brows lift in surprise. Did she really think he would be okay watching his beautiful mate’s life cut before his very eyes? As much as he loves her, he could never wish his own fate on another. It would have been something if he’d been tethered to another harbinger, but he couldn’t stand by and see that happen toher. Not when he could do something to stop it.
Not when she had so much life left to live.
“I made my choice and I’d make it again.”
The harbinger pushes himself up in bed. It takes more effort than it should, every part of him so weak. He half expects to crumble like that cerulean stone. How can he replenish his magic knowing she’s out there, unaware of his very presence? Of their connection.
The heartbeat thuds wildly in his chest. Maybe it always will. But he cannot remain like this. It’s too hard to bear. Too consuming now that he cannot reach her.
“What is it, Jax?”
It’s his final request. The only way he can hibernate and rest before returning to his duty and bringing more winters. His eyes plead with Fate, his voice shaking with fierce resolve.
“Make me forget.”
15
JAX
The storm surging through my mind is a blizzard of emotions that nearly send me stumbling into Fate’s watercolor pool. I grip its ledge as she catches my arm. Her rainbow gaze scrutinizes me, and she makes no effort to let go of my shoulders. Not until I’ve caught my breath and tilted myself upright.
Though it feels like yesterday, it’s been almost a year since I learned of my mate. That reality is unsettling. I bartered our immortal future so she could have a mortal one. Yet, as I brush my palm over my mate mark, I feel her pulse fluttering there and I’m struck with a fierce sense of pride. Nothing has brought me greater joy.
I chuckle, the sound echoing off the walls of Fate’s den, shaking the strands of flowers and leaves dangling from the ceiling. The sharp truth of what I set in motion should break me, but I won’t let it. Just as swiftly as the realization hits me, another one does:our bond remains. I’ve been able to find her even without my memories because I’ll always find her. In any life. In any form.
For she is mine and I am hers.
I just have to find a way for her to see me.
“I know we’re an anomaly but there has to be a way forward for us.” It’s not a question. It’s a demand.
