“Lynx and who else?” I asked, trying to do the math in my head.
“That’s a topic best kept for another time. When we aren’t chained together in a cell.” His fingers laced with mine and he pulled me closer, our foreheads touching.
“Then why so much concern over the transference? Of being with me? Why avoid touching me when you see the good?”
Saros’s words rushed out in a whisper, sending a shiver through me. “I was concerned… What if the magic isn’t the same for you? What if you touch me and only see the worst and darkest parts of my life? The things I’ve done. The people I’ve hurt. What if it changes how you see me?” His throat bobbed. “And I struggled every time we touched because…I always risked seeing you with someone else.”
“Atlas?” I croaked.
“Yes. Him and Lynx.” His thumb brushed along mine. “I’m so envious. Not because I didn’t want you with them or couldn’t handle loving you alongside them, but because I knew I wasn’t able to give you what I so desperately wanted to. In the present, the mind subconsciously draws on past experiences, so it’s like a front-row seat to your sex life. And while you deserve every ounce of pleasure you’ve gotten and will get—I’m selfish enough to admit that I wanted to be the one in those memories feeling your body respond, swallowing those cries of ecstasy with my lips.” Releasing my fingers, he brushed away the tears I hadn’t realized streaked my cheeks. Then he peppered hauntingly soft kisses where the ghost of them remained. “After what happened between us at Luna’s, I wasn’t mad that you came. Scared you’d touch me and what you’d see, yes. But when I realized Atlas had been there, it felt like another moment that didn’t belong to me.”
“It did belong to you.” I caught his mouth with my own, my tongue tangling with his like our hands locked together by the cuffs. Copper tinged where the corner of his mouth bled and I pressed a kiss there before continuing, “I mean… I can’t lie, I’m apparently really into the idea of being shared, but it was when I saw he was turned on by what you were doing to me that I lost control. I felt horrible afterward for not warning you.”
I steadied my breathing, not wanting to panic anymore so we could escape this situation and get back to Aspen and crew. But I didn’t know how we would get out of this room or if we even would, and I refused to let him believe he meant anything less to me than he did.
I took his hands in mine and guided them to my heart, ignoring the hardened swell of my chest. “There will always be enough Desire and love running through me for some to belong to you. As long as you’re okay with it also belonging to someone else. And I’m really sorry about what happened earlier at the masquerade with Atlas. That was not my intention, I just needed him to know what I wanted.”
“And what is that, Midnight?” He brushed his fingers over my heart, sending a shiver down my spine.
“All of you,” I admitted. “Though, I’m not sure if it’s possible.”
He sighed. “The truth is sometimes messy. But it also makes things clear.” He shook his head, as if remembering what had happened in all too vivid detail. Heat crept over my cheeks.
“And you’re not mad?”
“At you, Midnight? No. I just wish it hadn’t landed you here.”
“Aleander would really risk scrambling the Wellses’ minds for that intel?” I asked, eyes darting up to the door and picturing the wrath demon probably still poised outside of it. “Even people who are that high profile in the community?”
“What would anyone say at this point? They’ve been arrested for murder. Claiming they are mentally unstable wouldn’t be that hard of a sell.”
That was true. No one would be fighting for them. The only one who’d said anything since they’d been arrested had been Hazel. “So you’re going to do it?”
“I don’t really see another choice.” His forehead rested on mine again. “Not one that doesn’t put you at an even greater risk. Aleandercan’ttell his contact at headquarters about you.”
There was another way… A way I could take some of this burden from him.
My hands quivered, gripping his. “If they removed my cuffs… If you showed me how to—”
“No.” His tone was firm. Stance clear. “The next time I make you come, it will be over and over and not under some fucked-up time limit in the place I hate most. I’m getting you out of here.”
“There’s got to be something I can do to help,” I pleaded. I couldn’t just sit by and wait. My body hurt and my mind raced over getting out of here safely and back to Aspen. If Saros left me here, I’d go crazy. “We’re in this together.”
He pulled me close, making it look like a lover’s touch, but the purpose in his eyes said more. “Actually, there might be something, but it probably sounds crazy.”
“Tell me.”
“It involves using your gifts.” The evergreen of his irises brightened with something akin to mischief.
“I’m in.” I clasped his hands in mine, whispering low. “Just tell me what to do.”
Chapter23
Oakley
Saros squeezed my hand at theswishof The Casket cell door.
“It’s time,” Aleander said, entering the room. “What’s your decision?”
