My chest and cheeks heated. “I’m plenty satisfied with Lynx. It’syouI’m struggling with.”
That managed to suck that emotion straight out of the small truck, Saros’s lips pressing into their usual firm line. “Look, I didn’t come by last night because I needed to decompress and rid myself of the reek of headquarters. I hate that fucking place. I hate what they want me to be for them there.”
That was the most candid he’d ever been with me, red wisps of smoke slipping from his skin. My heart stuttered in my chest. “And what’s that?”
“A monster.” His hands were balled into fists at his sides, the air tinged with something metallic. “Mygiftmakes everyone’s jobs a lot easier. But memories aren’t always full. They are subjective, and they should be fucking private. I have an ability that has no business existing.”
I stepped toward him and reached out a hand, wanting to brush my fingers over the tension coiled in his palms. “I get it—”
“No, you don’t, Oakley.” He retreated out of my grasp, looking at his shoes. “You don’t have people threatening your livelihood if you don’t use your gifts the way they want. You don’t have to look people in the eye knowing things you wish you never did about them. Things you can’t forget.” He released a heavy exhale. “I witness the worst moments of people’s lives. I live through them when they relive them for me.”
“What do they want you to do?” My hands itched for something to hold onto, so I gripped the counter, resisting the urge to touch him.
“They want me to rifle through Aurora’s memories, even though she and her lawyer have already said no. They want me to hunt for evidence of how Acacia is tied to the disappearances and possibly the Wellses. And they don’t care that it’s illegal or unethical. They just like that it’s easy.”
“Easy for them,” I huffed, anger boiling in my bones.
“I’m sorry I didn’t come by earlier today. I honestly didn’t know where we stood.” He stepped closer, placing his hand on the counter a foot away from mine. “You and Lynx were together first, then we shared that incredible full moon and then shit hit the fan. Now Thorne is here, and—”
“And what?”
His fingers began tapping nervously against the countertop. “I’ve touched you enough to know there’s more between you two than you let on.” His lips turned downward, and he cast his gaze to the floor. “I’ve seen it.”
“Seen what, exactly?”
He avoided making eye contact with me. “Glimpses. Some things more romantic, others more…intimate.” Something acidic and green bubbled from him before disappearing. “I’m sorry. I’m sure that’s embarrassing to know, but I just can’t get it out of my head.”
“So you didn’t want to come over because you have seen my ex and Iin the past?”
His fingers stopped their tapping before he slipped them into his pocket. “First of all, I really was in a horrible mood and didn’t want to ruin your reunion with Lynx. You deserved better than that. But I’ll admit, part of me didn’t want to see you yet because seeing you with Atlas—seeing you with Lynx—it makes me want… Never mind.”
“Want what, Saros?” I closed the distance by about half, leaving a handful of inches between us for his own comfort. Did the idea of being with me now disgust him? I needed to understand. “Tell me now or I’m walking away and not coming back.”
“It makes me want that for myself.” He towered over me like a beautiful dark pine bending in the fall breeze. “Want you for myself.”
He lifted his hand, ghosting it along my neck and shoulder without touching me, but I felt its effect no less. “I don’t care if you want them, but it infuriates me that I can’t give youthat.” His breath was a caress, filtering down my body and drilling deep into my core. “I’m stuck stroking myself to the scraps that Lynx shares with me afterward, like some starved junkyard dog.” His voice rose in anger, a few smoky red tendrils drifting away from him as he stepped away, like he needed the distance. “The pleasure he gets to have with you… Hegets togiveyou…”
Oh.
“I want it to bemytongue on your clit, making you shake beneath my lips;mycock notched deep inside you as you scream my name;mycum painting your insides.”
Well damn.
“I want that too.” My mind flitted to last night and the hours I’d spent in blissful rapture with Lynx. The idea that he’d gone and shown it to Saros… My thighs clenched, underwear becoming damp at the thought. “But why can’t we—”
Something metallic settled at the back of my throat, like the air had filled with iron. “I won’t risk burdening you with my curse, even if it’s temporary. And Goddess only knows what would happen if anyone found out you could borrow my gift—or any other rare ability for that matter. That would put you in danger.”
Huh?
“What do you mean?” My heart began to race, the idea of any more threats to my family sending me into self-preservation mode.
“There are powers out there that are extremely rare. Yes, your Desire is rare, but being able to borrow other people’s gifts… If your ability’s existence were to be known by the wrong people, who knows what they’d try to do with it.”
I’d never thought about it that way. Atlas worked for the government, and he’d never presented it with so much fear behind it, but we had also been diligent about keeping that part of my moon-blessed gift a secret. Besides, there wasn’t much I could do with borrowing his gift other than creating some illusions.
“But couldn’t we still…you know, work around the transference if you’re that worried about it? Like what we did the night of the full moon?” I offered. That night had been incredible. I’d felt no less connected to him, even if he wasn’t the one plunging into me. The pleasure we shared, the intimacy of it all, it was just as strong. “I don’t understand why we can’t be together in that way… Don’t you want that?”
“More than anything, Midnight.” He stared at me with an intensity that had me feeling more bared than I had been beneath the moonlight that night in the pines. “But if I’m going to be inside you, I don’t want either of us holding back from the other. I want you to crave me as much as I crave you.”
