“What?” he huffed out before pursing his lips together.
“I’m heading back to Oakley’s in a few.” My knee was notched between his legs, and I cocked my head at him. “Are you sure you don’t want to come with?”
“Yes. I want to take another look over the notes from Aurora’s interrogation. Something isn’t adding up.” His words were calm but his breath came out unsteady, the steely air around us bubbling into pale-green anxiety. He’d been on edge ever since we left Salem.
“We can do that together when we get back?” I offered. Oakley had been so rattled when he hadn’t been with me earlier.
Sometimes having a front-row seat to everyone’s emotions felt like a curse. There wasn’t a simple way to manage a multitude of feelings at once. And worse yet, it truly wasn’t my job to manage them. Even if I wanted to.
Right now, though, I wanted to shake the witch in front of me. Since we’d been paired up on our first undercover assignment, it’d been Saros and I against the world. We hadn’t had anyone else. Not really. Not until now.
I knew he cared about Oakley and I’d be damned if I let him screw this up for himself.
Forus.
Hadn't he wanted a future after this assignment? A real life, as he'd said. She could be a part of that. No more secrets. A real, loving family.
Not to mention mind-blowing sex.
“If I go over there, I won’t be focused. I’d just ruin the mood for you two.” He snatched up the e-reader again and raised it like the wall he pretended he could construct between us.
“You know, moods are kind of my specialty,” I teased, earning a flicker of his attention. I set his fictional friends to the side, and curled my pelvis against his, hoping to coax him out of his brooding. He hardened beneath my rolling hips. “I’d be happy to help shift yours.”
He arched a brow. “Is that so?”
I ran my palm up his chest, resting it on his neck. He wasn’t able to hide his true feelings from me anymore than I could hide my entire past from him.
I thought about last night: Saros pressing me against the cold tiling, sending ripples of pleasure streaking down my spine. We’d moved together, picking up speed, urgently seeking release. Saros reached between us, gripping firmly and owning us in smooth, powerful strokes. It was a frantic and beautifully desperate dance we’d done a million times, the movements choreographed over a decade of familiarity and love. Our eyes locked, foreheads notched together, chests heaving. We came nearly in unison, grinding out curses, bodies slick and sticky with sweat—
Saros wrapped his hand around my wrist and pulled me off of him. Then he cupped my chin and kissed me. “I appreciate the effort, but it’s not going to work. Not tonight.”
I groaned out my disappointment. “Are you sure you’re not allowing your fear about her ability to borrow your power get in the way of seeing her? You clearly missed her.”
“I did miss her, but no.” His evergreen gaze narrowed on me as he released my chin.
I’d tried climbing through that slightly open window into his emotions while we were away, but just like he was doing now, he’d shut me out so quickly I had to check that my fingers were still attached.
“What is this about, then? Finally admitting you’re jealous?” I teased.
“Of course I’m fucking jealous.” He picked up the e-reader again, his knuckles drained of color, clenching it so tight I thought it would crack from the sheer force.
“It’s insanely hot seeing you two together,” he said, sweet lust scenting the air around us. “But it also reminds me of what I can’t have with her. Regardless, that’s not why I’m staying here. I just need to be done with this case—with headquarters and their bullshit.”
So that’s what this was. Either way, Oakley was going to be hurt by it. Even if I tried to explain it to her myself, which it wasn’t my place to.
“She was disappointed you didn’t come with me earlier and that you weren’t coming tonight.”
“Look, I’m disappointed enough in myself right now. For that and a whole slew of reasons.” He swallowed hard, the ball in his throat rolling. “I need a night to get my head on straight. She deserves to have a nice reunion with one of us. I’d be shitty company if I went.”
“And how is that different from your usual?” I chuckled, then sat on my heels, accepting I’d lost this battle.
He waved me off. “Just get going.”
“Want me to bring you adoggie bag?” I teased, knowing he’d be too curious to resist. That earned a pillow smack to the face.
“I hate you so much for asking that,” he gritted out, rightfully pissed. Sometimes pushing him was the only way to elicit a reaction, though, and I was tired of watching him hide. Not when we were so close to having everything we both wanted with her.
Before I said another word, his e-reader was back to blocking me from view. Maybe one day he’d stop being his own worst enemy.
