“Wanna talk about it?” Hazel asked. Aspen rested his cheek on her shoulder, eyelids fluttering while she stroked his back. He’d be out in a few minutes.
I shook my head. “Not really.”
Noticing her nephew dozing off, Hazel brought him over to me to kiss him goodnight before she started for the nursery. I pressed the tops of my breasts, making sure they wouldn’t be too uncomfortable if he went to bed straight away. There was enough give that I’d probably be fine until his middle-of-the-night feed.
“The future isn’t set in stone, Oaks,” she reminded me for the dozenth time, bouncing Aspen toward his crib. While she got him down, I picked up another piece of parchment, adjusting the previous pattern before spelling another needle to begin working on a mesh corset.
Walking out of the nursery, Hazel went over to the fridge, picked out the pint of rocky road ice cream, and grabbed a spoon. Popping off the top, she scooped some up. “You still love him.”
I swallowed that truth instead of choking on it. There was no use trying to lie to Hazel. She’d been there through our relationship, all the way up until its end. “Maybe I do, but I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if that somehow led to his death.”
She kept enjoying her dessert, eyeing me.
“I already tried to change things by getting away from him and look how well that turned out for me,” I added with a shrug.
She sighed. “Maybe that’s a sign to stop fighting it. You may have already changed fate. I tried to tell you, there are always things that can shift to alter it.”
I brought my attention down to the lace in my hands, flicking my wrist for the needle to knot the end of the thread. “Plus, there’s Lynx and Saros to think about.”
“What’s there to think about?” Hazel asked between shoveled spoonfuls into her mouth. “If you can handle two, you can handle three.”
My eyes snapped up at her boldness, and she waggled her brows and gave a few little thrusts with her pelvis.
“Oh my Goddess, Hazel.” I chuckled, stuffing the nursing pad into the pocket and holding it up to my chest, wanting to make sure the padding wouldn’t make the women’s breasts appear lumpy in the design. She gave me a thumbs up, and I went to work on the opposite side.
“Don’t act like you haven’t thought about it.”
“Never gonna happen.” There was no way that would be possible, even if my imagination got carried away sometimes…
When Atlas was out of sight, it was much simpler to not recall the times we had together, or be reminded of what an amazing father and partner he was. Sometimes I didn’t know which was a greater punishment: watching him die having had more time with him or forcing myself to stay away so that he would live for our son.
Lynx understood my emotions—the inner battles I faced—and Saros never judged me for wanting to be rid of my gift. He knew the cost of having an ability that could potentially do more harm than good.
They both made me feel seen. Cherished.
As much as I wanted to know, I knew better than to ask Hazel about the future when it came to them. She’d already shot me down multiple times. And part of me wondered if she was team Atlas, despite her premonition. She’d never say it, though. She knew all I’d given up to keep him safe.
“Atlas is overseeing their case, which means he’s their boss,” I reminded her. And myself.
“Only until the case is over, right?”
“I mean, I guess?” Being with Lynx and Saros was messy with their job. My current dealings with Atlas were messy because of my fear for him. The dynamics between the three of them? That would be pure chaos.
The mischievous devil on my shoulder, my Desire, was giddy at the prospect.
Naughty bitch.
“Sounds like a pretty good incentive to solve the case,” Hazel said, enjoying another spoonful of rocky road.
“Yeah, only then they will have to return to Salem.” My shoulders hunched forward, and I tried to smother the disappointment crowding my rib cage.
“No use worrying about things you can’t control, Oakley.”
“You’re right.” A lovely platitude, but easier said than done.
“Oh, I know I am.” She puffed out her chest and smirked. “Question is, are you actually going to listen to me?”
Worry was etched into my bones, anxiety taking shelter in me ever since I’d learned of Atlas’s fate—our fate.
