“After he fed last?” He tickled Aspen’s belly. “About two hours.”
Great Goddess, when was the last time I got this much sleep?
My body felt much more energized, better than it had even before Saros had cast the locator spell.
I shifted back and forth, rocking Aspen. He let me know very quickly with his fussing that was not going to cut it, opening his mouth above my breast. Putting him in a football hold, I walked back a few steps and sat on the edge of the bed, maneuvering my shirt and nursing bra, settling him to feed.
As much as everything about this moment filled me with joy, I also knew better than to want to hold on to it. That would only end in disappointment. I needed to set some boundaries. “Look, I know what this is. Saros and I talked earlier, and I get it. I’m not expecting anything more from you.”
“What do you thinkthisis?” Lynx leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed, gaze narrowed.
“You won’t be here long. This is temporary for you. I just want you to know I understand that once you solve the case you’re leaving.” I shrugged to show my nonchalance, while my heel tapped against the floor, giving my nerves somewhere to go. “No strings attached.”
Suddenly the room went cold, the ember of warmth thieved away, and the glow cradling Lynx extinguished.
“I don’t want you thinking I’m reading more into this than it is, Lynx,” I said, trying to stay relaxed and as cool-looking as possible with a baby half hidden beneath my shirt.
“I see.”
Reaching under, I massaged my breast a bit to let down more milk, but the power of it sent spray right into Aspen’s mouth and he sputtered. I quickly lifted him to my shoulder, wiping his face with my sleeve. Rubbing his back a few times, I uncrossed and recrossed my legs before situating him on the other side. Lynx remained silent, not commenting on the fact that I’d already managed to end up with drool on my shirt in less than five minutes or the fact that he’d seen me projectile spray breastmilk onto the carpet.
He walked into the room, the previous chill subsiding, and knelt in front of me so our eyes were level. Gripping my chin with his fingers, he made certain I couldn’t look away. “I guess you haven’t accepted it yet, Wicked, but I want you. This isn’t some littleno strings attached,temporary bullshit.”
“But I’m—”
“The most sexy, strong, and stubborn witch I’ve ever met. To the point that you’re currently pissing me off,” he said, pinning me with the gravity of his words. He brushed his lips against my cheek, drifting up over the crest of my ear. “And just so you know, I adore this little witchling.” He stroked Aspen’s cheek a few times while he fed. “Even when he wakes up smelling like death and stops me from being inside his beautiful mom.”
I sucked in a breath. Trying to piece together what he was saying. We hadn’t known each other that long but I couldn’t deny wanting this. Him.Us. “You really don’t mind?”
“Not in the fucking least,” he whispered before sitting back on his heels. “What I mind is you selling yourself short. If you didn’t have that precious little witchling attached to you right now I’d make it my mission to make you scream until you realized it as well.”
My throat dried, my voice becoming raspy. “You can’t say things like that.”
“Why the hell not?”
“Because what happens when—”
“If or when that happens, we can talk about what we want to do. Don’t just diminish these feelings”—he waved his arms around, as if indicating something only he could see—“because we don’t know what the future holds.”
“Okay.” My gaze dropped to Aspen who was still nursing happily. “Keep me company until he’s done?”
“I’d love nothing more, Wicked.” He sat down on the bed next to me, putting an arm around my shoulder, letting his head settle against mine. I relaxed into the strong panes of his hold.
Was this what it was like to allow someone else to give you their support and unwavering devotion?
If so, then why was I always so hell-bent on pushing this away?
* * *
Saros arrived about an hour later,carting a drink carrier with three black cups sporting Luna’s logo.
“Figured we might need some extra caffeine.”
“You would be correct.” I reached my arms up, Aspen passed out in my lap after playing with Lynx’s keys the last fifteen minutes.
Something acrid bubbled from his aura before he even got to the door. Hesitation? Frustration? It was strange to still have access to Lynx’s power, and I wondered when it would fizzle out. Usually the effects of the magical transference ended anywhere from two to twenty-four hours afterward.
“Here you go, Midnight.” He handed me a cup, our fingers accidentally brushing. His brows lifted a moment, surprised, then he cleared his throat, not saying another word. When he made extra care not to touch Lynx, floating the cup into his palm, it confirmed what I’d wondered.
