A bad start? Does he mean our whole lives or just this week?
I stare at him. He must want something, but I can’t think of anything he’d need from me this badly. I have a feeling it’s related to the blood dappling his sleeve, though.
“Let’s start with honesty, then—why are you following me?” I ask.
He gives me another shrug. “I instructed you to have an escort. You know there is danger here.”
It’s the truth, but it’s not.
“I see that,” I say.
His eyes dart around. “What do you mean?”
Using small steps, I move closer to him. His breathing hitches as I reach out. I let my fingers graze the white cotton of his shirt by his elbow. He flinches, clearly repulsed by my touch, but he holds still as I raise his right hand.
“There’s blood on your sleeve,” I say.
He yanks his arm away, looking anywhere but at my face. He’s hiding something—shame, maybe, but that doesn’t make sense. The Praetorian isn’t ashamed of being brutal. His gaze flickers to me, and there’s just a hint of vulnerability in his face.
It’s completely unnerving.
“You seem… What happened?” I soften my stance, because something is actually wrong.
When I push aside what I know about Torren and force myself to not judge, it’s easy to sense the turmoil wafting off him. I feel the weight as if it’s pressing down on my own shoulders. It’s failure of some sort. I would think it was related to the deaths of the senators, but no, this feels like something else.
He clasps his hands behind his back and stares at the wall. “Nothing I didn’t expect.”
That much is true, but he’s shaken nonetheless. He’s not going to confess and cleanse his soul, though. Not to me.
“Why are you really here? What is it you need?”
“The truth,” he says. “But if you can’t understand your own bird signs, then perhaps I have reached a dead end.”
Fire rushes through me, and I clamp my teeth down to keep my insults to myself. Then I force a smile. The smile will irritate him more.
“This is an amazing new beginning,” I say. “A fresh start, yet it feels the same.”
His lips curl into a smile as he hangs his head. Then he draws a breath and unclasps his hands. “It’s more difficult than I expected to break old habits. But you’re right—I do need you.”
He lingers on the word “need,” and a shiver runs through me.
“Why?” I ask, holding my breath.
“You and I seem to be the only people who understand what is happening here,” he continues in a low voice. “Someone at Jubilee has murdered two senators and the Senate Clerk, and they believe they can get away with it.”
I exhale a cloud of fog. Of course I knew that, but it’s different falling from his mouth. After today’s events, I no longer think Julian or the Praetorian was involved. Most likely it was Terrance, either acting alone or with Suh and Medea. If I’m right, we, along with the republic, are in terrible danger now.
“What are you proposing?” I ask.
He draws a breath. “That we form an alliance. Whoever is behind the murders won’t want you to discern the truth, and my position, if not my life, is in jeopardy. We both have a vested interest in bringing the murderer to justice. Our goals are aligned for now.”
I swallow hard and grip the altar as the truth of his words settles on me. “What exactly do you need from me?”
He opens his mouth and then closes it. He’s hesitating.
“For now, just stay alive,” he says, “and when your time comes, I’ll tell you. Let me escort you back to your chambers.”
I don’t want to accept an open-ended agreement, but if he’s willing to put aside his dislike for me, I should accept. It’s the only way for me to survive.
