And now, I had less than one month to choose which path I was going to take—a daunting decision that I didn’t feel any certainty about, made harder by my growing feelings for Sam.
In 1929, we were wrapping up our last day of filming as I stood beside Papa, watching the main characters assemble in the parlor for the final family scene. Vicky was there as Meg, holding a baby, while the actor who played her husband, Mr. Brooke, held the second child. The characters had welcomed twins, and in this scene, they were almost a year old. Lydia was there, playing an older version of Amy, with Spencer at her side as Laurie. The older actress playing Marmee was bustling around the room asher family chatted. They were all in costume, as was I, and ready to begin shooting.
I would enter as Jo, melancholy that Beth was no longer with us but happy that everyone was together again.
“Ready?” Papa asked me.
I nodded, though tears had gathered in my eyes. This scene hit too close to my heart. I had wanted to talk to Mama and Grace about my final decision, but there had never been a good time. The past week had been grueling and tiresome. I didn’t even need to worry about being alone with Spencer because there wasn’t any time for dates. We worked from morning until night, only stopping for a few hours to sleep, and then returning to the studio to keep going. Papa was desperate to be done. There was no more money and no means to get any. Mama and Papa had sold their Dodge, and every bit of Mama’s jewelry except her wedding ring had been pawned for funds to keep the lights on at the studio.
I wanted to tell them there would be money soon, but Sam and I still had another day of traveling before we could arrive in San Francisco and go to the bank. I didn’t want to get their hopes up for nothing, so I waited. Perhaps I could tell them when I came back tomorrow.
Taking a deep breath, I wiped away my tears and stepped onto the set. In the previous scene, Jo had been asleep in the attic when Laurie returned from Europe. He’d woken her up, and their reunion had been happy but tearful. Laurie had married Jo’s younger sister Amy, and it was the first time Jo would see them since the wedding.
We’d filmed all the other scenes that would come after this one. Jo’s love interest from her time in New York City, Professor Baehr, would arrive with Jo’s book, which he had published for her, and he would tell her that he hoped they could make a life together. The movie would end when she agreed to be his wife.
Now, as I stepped into the foyer where I would observe the family for a moment and whisper a quick word to Beth’s memory, I paused. In many ways, I felt like Jo March. Stuck between thepast and the future, sad about all that had been lost, and hesitant about what might come. If I chose to stay in 1849, this would be the last movie—the last scene—I would ever be in. More tears gathered in my eyes as I bit my lower lip, trying not to be overcome with emotion.
Spencer looked up at me as he sat next to Lydia, and I saw a question in his gaze. Things had been awkward and uncomfortable between us this past week, but it only felt natural as we filmed the last few scenes of the movie together. Things had been awkward and uncomfortable between Jo and Laurie, as well, but they had found a way to overcome their hurt feelings and move forward. I wasn’t sure the same would be true for me and Spencer. After today, I didn’t know if I would see him again outside of the premiere of the film. And only if Papa could get it ready before my birthday on November 3rd.
“And action!” Papa said into a megaphone as a camera zoomed in on me, standing in the entryway.
His words caught me off guard. I wasn’t ready, but I had little choice. I’d been around cameras my whole life. They’d captured hours and hours of my image and now my voice. But as the tears fell from emotions that had nothing to do with acting, the camera felt intrusive, and I had a sudden yearning to return to the Yuba River, where Sam and I had camped last week. To be free to cry without an audience and have space to breathe without someone demanding something from me.
But I was an actress, and if I didn’t do my best work, we would have to run this scene again, and it would cost Papa more money.
Spencer returned his attention to Lydia, and I pulled myself together.
“Oh, Bethy,” I said, watching the family for a moment before glancing at the ceiling, my heart heavy. “It’s fun now that we’re all together again, isn’t it?” I kissed my hand, then offered it up to her before putting it over my heart.
The group was chatting in the next room, and I smiled at them. Then I entered, walking over to Vicky and the baby.
“Cut!” Papa said, his voice loud and clear. “That’s a wrap!”
There was a cheer from the crew and actors as everyone gathered in the parlor, congratulating each other for a job well done.
Papa was beaming, and Mama was crying. Grace looked relieved that it was over and she and the girls could soon return home. It had been decided that Lydia would go with them, though she wasn’t happy about the decision. They would wait until after the premiere to leave.
Vicky handed the baby off to its real mother, though I saw the longing in her eyes before she turned to the actor playing Mr. Brooke and thanked him for his hard work.
Spencer’s gaze caught mine across the loud, crowded space. People came up and hugged me, telling me what a good job I had done, but all I could focus on was Spencer. There were still so many things unsaid between us, and I could tell he thought the same.
We moved across the room until we faced each other, and though I had hugged all the others, I didn’t reach for him. Things were different. Strained.
“Congratulations, Ally,” he said. “You did a marvelous job.”
“So did you.” I took a deep breath. “Thank you for being dedicated to this role. It means so much to—to my family.”
He nodded, sadness in his gaze.
“I suppose this means we won’t be seeing you again,” I added, “until the premiere.”
“Of course. It’s just—” He paused and shook his head. Things had been going well in the magazines for Spencer. There was little talk about his scandal anymore, and, like most Hollywood stories, it would soon be forgotten completely.
“What?”
“It’s just that my mother and Aunt Sherry arrived here last night. They were hoping to meet you today or tomorrow. I hate to disappoint them. Do you think you could meet them for supper at their hotel? It’s the last request I’ll make. I promise.”
I wasn’t sure it was wise, but how could I say no to his mother and aunt, especially after I had agreed to meet with them already?
