I had heard about a church on the other end of Montgomery Street, which was at the foot of the hills and wouldn’t require any climbing. It was still a distance, but we had time.
As we left the building, we gained attention from those in Sydney Town, and I realized how much we looked like a family with Hazel and Johnnie skipping ahead.
“You go on at your own pace,” Father said as he motioned us forward. “I don’t want to keep you waiting. I’ll catch up when I’m able.”
I knew better than to argue. He could be stubborn at times.
As we walked with the children ahead and Father behind, Sam and I had a little privacy. He had told me he wouldn’t go to the Yuba River, but I wasn’t convinced that was his final answer.
I could be stubborn, too.
“Thank you,” he said.
“For what?”
“For giving Johnnie a reason to laugh again.”
Hazel held Johnnie’s hand as she talked incessantly. The little boy watched her closely, almost in awe of her.
“Hazel deserves your appreciation.”
“All of you have my gratitude.” He glanced behind us and then said, “Your father has opened Johnnie’s imagination, Hazel has opened his world, and you have opened his heart. I see the way he watches all of you. You’ve been a breath of fresh air for him—and for me.”
I nodded and smiled, but I didn’t want to let him know how much his words meant to me. I couldn’t, because I was afraid if I did, I would encourage him. And though I was attracted to Sam, I couldn’t trust him. His past was riddled with complications and questions—and more than that, I couldn’t risk my future.
The Annals of San Franciscowas never far from my mind. What if it was true? What if I was meant to fall in love with Sam Kendal and marry him? But then that meant I was also supposed to die in a fire, and that seemed just as preposterous.
It would be better not to encourage Sam.
The street was littered with men, some standing upright, others leaning against buildings and door frames, and still others who had seemingly passed out and were left right where they’d fallen. A group of night workers sashayed past, women I had never seen before. They stared at me as I tried to avert my gaze.
“Where did you go this morning?” I asked Sam. “You usually tell us.”
He was quiet for a moment as we continued down Montgomery Street, then said, “The less you know, the better.”
He’d said the same thing earlier when I asked him about Rose. I looked at him quickly, and he met my gaze, offering a slight nod. I didn’t need to ask him again. He’d been helping her.
At least, that’s what he claimed. And I suddenly realized I had no reason to mistrust Sam. He’d never lied to me or done anything, to my knowledge, to harm me.
We walked slowly. I kept one eye on the children and another on Father, who stopped often to take a breath.
“I’m sorry for leaving abruptly,” he said, kicking a rock with the toe of his boot, squinting into the distance. “Money isn’t a subject I like to talk about.”
“I’ve realized that.”
He was quiet for a moment and then let out a breath. “My father was the president of Barclay’s Bank in London, and he lived and served it his entire life. My mother, brother, and I were appendices in his life, and he often let us know that we were not essential. On the contrary, I often felt like a bother. He looked upon his mistress with more worth and value.”
“I’m sorry.”
“That’s why I’ve always struggled with the love of money.” He shook his head. “I know it is important and necessary, but there’s so much more to life.”
“You sound like my father.”
“He’s a wise man.”
I smiled, agreeing wholeheartedly. “I know money isn’t everything, but it’s still very important.” I glanced back and saw that Father was quite a ways behind us and Hazel and Johnnie had stopped at a public well to take a sip of water. Sam and I paused, too. “I don’t know if I will be here past November,” I told him in a quiet voice. “And I need to make sure Father and Hazel have everything they need. It’s the only reason I risked our lives coming here, and I would hate to know that Father suffered for no reason. I have knowledge about the gold strike, and I want to use it to help them. Is that wrong?”
Sam lifted his hand to his neck and rubbed it as he looked past me. “I don’t know—”
