“Don’t I?” He smiled. “Sam has been good to let us live here and to give you some work. But his past is marked with tragedy, and though that doesn’t make a man unworthy of you, it makes me leery. What do you know of his past?”
“It doesn’t matter. I have no interest in marrying him or anyone else.”The Annals of San Franciscotaunted me, but I had a choice, didn’t I? I always had a choice.
“In a city with about ten thousand men to one woman, I highly doubt that your plans will last long, my dear.” He chuckled before growing serious again. “There are many good men to choose from, Ally. I don’t want you to choose Sam just because he’s the only one you know. I think it’s past time that we find a church.In fact, we should start attending tomorrow. You need to meet more people.”
“I’ve been thinking the same thing, but perhaps not for the same reason.” I shook my head as I smiled, not wanting him to think I was worried about his concerns. It was absurd. Instead, I said, “I miss church.”
“Me, too.” He straightened. “Now, what did you want to talk to me about?”
I took a deep breath, already knowing his response but trying to hold on to hope. “The reason we came here in the first place.”
“Not this again, Ally.”
“It would be so easy for you to regain your fortune—”
“I didn’t come to California to look for gold, and you know it. I came to start a school and bring education to this untamed land. That is my highest calling. When Bronson and I closed the school in Concord and you suggested we come west, that was the only reason I agreed.”
“But—” I couldn’t tell him that I knew where we could get gold before everyone else. “Don’t you even want to try?”
“I’m too old and too tired to dig dirt for a bit of earthly comfort. I’d rather spend my days reading literature to children and engaging their minds.” He patted my shoulder. “The sooner you accept this, the sooner you can find some peace of mind. If my lot in life is to be a poor man who finds joy in education, then I am rich, indeed.”
“You can do both.”
His wise eyes told me he wouldn’t budge.
But it wasn’t going to stop me from trying. He didn’t know I might not be staying with him after my birthday.
“I’ll gather my things and head upstairs.” He stood with some effort and kissed the top of my head. “Try to get a good night’s sleep, daughter.”
After he collected his things, he said good night before leaving me alone in the kitchen, with the children in the bedroom.
Sam usually went out after the supper dishes were done tocheck on things around his property and came in after I had gone to bed.
Was his strange behavior the last few days due to his growing feelings for me? I didn’t want to think Father’s suspicions were true. It would only complicate our working relationship if Sam had feelings for me. But even as I thought about it, I couldn’t believe it. Just because Father thought he saw something in Sam didn’t make it so.
I stood, pushing aside the thoughts, and opened the back door to fetch some water for tomorrow morning’s sponge baths.
The evening gloaming had settled over the barren yard. Sam’s property butted up to the base of Telegraph Hill with buildings on either side. Just behind Bess’s Place was the shed where Sam had slept when Bess was still alive. Next to it was the lot where Paddy chopped wood, and on the other side was the pump. Beyond that was the outhouse.
A movement caught my eye at the back of the shed. I thought I saw a woman peek around the corner, but she was gone by the time I blinked.
The twilight had a way of playing tricks on my eyes.
I walked to the well, ever mindful of my surroundings. Sam and Paddy kept a close watch on their property, but I could never be too certain someone wasn’t hiding behind a bush, ready to attack. It was an ever-present fear in Sydney Town, though most of the men had grown to respect my presence—and Sam had threatened more than one man who had gotten too familiar.
Lowering the bucket into the well, I listened to the sound of the gambling hall next door, conscious of the familiar sounds.
But then I heard low voices coming from the shed—and one sounded very feminine.
I paused, trying to hear, though the noise from next door drowned out the sound.
Had Sam brought a woman to the shed? Was that why he came out here every evening before bed?
Disappointment crept into my heart, and I quickly lifted therope and removed the bucket, sloshing the water carelessly in my haste to get away.
I returned to the back door, trying to tell myself none of it mattered. If Sam Kendal wanted to entertain a woman in his shed, he had every right. This was his property, and he owed me no explanation.
Yet the disillusionment I felt was keen and deep. But why? Other than his behavior toward the people he loved, I had no frame of reference to know what kind of person he was. I had created an illusion of him, of what I thought I wanted him to be—especially if the history book was right and I was supposed to marry him.
