“Even if you will never look at me the same?”
I paused. What did that mean? Seeing him as a gangster had colored my opinion of him already. Could it be worse than that? “Yes.”
He shook his head and lifted one hand off the steering wheel to scratch the back of his neck. “You have to promise not to tell a soul. I’m serious. Not your parents, not your sisters, no one. I’m only telling you this because I feel like I owe you something for all the trouble I’ve put you through.”
My frown deepened. “I won’t tell anyone.” I knew how to keep secrets, even when I didn’t want to.
“I made a deal with the district attorney.”
I stared at him, confused. “What do you mean?”
He glanced in the rearview mirror, almost like he was afraid someone might be listening. “Two years ago, I was caught doing something I’d rather not mention, and when I was arrested, I was given a plea deal.” His voice lowered. “I could either go to prison and cause a scandal my career would never recover from, or I could become an informant to the federal government. I knew some high-profile people in the underworld, and I could use my fame as a cover-up to meet others. So, I took the deal. I’ve been working with the feds for a couple of years. Once George Cryer and Kent Parrot are behind bars, I’m free, so I’ve been working overtime to get some dirt on them.”
I was speechless.
“Well?” he asked.
“I don’t know what to say.” Spencer had a criminal past. He admitted it. I wasn’t sure what he had done, but it must have been bad to get him to agree to help the feds.
“I didn’t want you to get messed up in all of this.” He touched my hand lying on my lap. “I really do like you, Ally. I wish I could change my past. My only consolation is that it will all be over soon.”
I frowned. “Do you regret what happened?”
“Of course. It’s still causing problems today.”
“That’s not what I mean. Do you regret it because you’re still suffering from getting caught or because it was wrong?”
“Who said it was wrong? It was illegal, but that doesn’t make it wrong.” He smiled, trying to draw me out, but when he couldn’t get me to return his smile, he groaned. “See, I told you. You’re looking at me differently. I knew you would. I’m not a bad guy, Ally.”
“I know you’re not.”
“Then why are you looking at me like that?”
“You’re not a bad guy, but you’re making bad decisions, Spencer. Your agreement with the feds might be ending, but that doesn’t mean you’re a changed man. There is right and wrong, and it doesn’t matter if it’s legal or illegal. I don’t base my morality off the federal government.”
Disappointment shadowed his face, and he didn’t say anything until we stopped in front of the Beverly Wilshire Hotel. “I want to be a better man for you, Ally. I’m just not sure I can ever live up to your high standards.”
A valet appeared at the driver’s-side door, and Spencer got out before I could respond. He came around the vehicle and opened the door for me.
“I don’t want you to do it for me,” I said as I left the Rolls-Royce. “I want you to do it for yourself.”
He gave me a sad smile and offered me his elbow. “I hope you don’t hate me forever after tonight.”
I took his arm and shook my head, fighting tears. “Of course I don’t hate you. I could never hate you.”
He studied me in the dying light, his gaze troubled. Uncertain. Finally, he sighed and said, “Come on. Let’s get this over with.”
I frowned as I followed him. He’d been so excited about me meeting his mother and aunt. Was he planning to tell them the truth about our relationship?
The lobby of the Beverly Wilshire was extravagant to the extreme.Large marble pillars, beautiful chandeliers, and elegant brocade wingback chairs filled the space. It glittered with well-dressed people as bellhops in stiff uniforms served drinks and moved luggage.
My gaze slid over the room as I tried to find two women who met the description of Spencer’s mother and aunt. A pair of elderly women smiled at me, and I returned the gesture, but Spencer didn’t walk me in their direction. Instead, we went toward the right, where an alcove was tucked into the side of the room. There were several couples sitting there, laughing, drinking, and talking.
My breath caught as I tried to stop, but Spencer held my arm tight and continued toward our destination.
“What are we doing here, Spencer?”
“I didn’t have a choice. I want this to be over.”
