“You don’t need to teach me anything,” I told him as I went to a sofa and sat on the edge, my back straight as I lifted a copy ofPride and Prejudiceoff the tea table where I’d left it.
Alec stood for a moment and then sat on the sofa facing me. A beautiful arrangement of freshly cut flowers graced the table between us.
I looked down at the book.
“You can’t avoid me for the whole voyage,” he finally said.
“I would like to try.”
He moved forward. “Please don’t be angry at me, Keira. The last thing I want to do is hurt you.”
I knew he was speaking the truth. The only reason I was feeling any kind of agony was because I had fallen in love with him—and couldn’t have him. It wasn’t his fault. He hadn’t forced me to love him, and he hadn’t forced me to agree to Aunt Maude’s scheme.
I finally lifted my gaze, and I saw the pain in his. I would have to push aside my feelings and forget about them. We had a whole week ahead of us, and even longer in Europe. I couldn’t shut himout of my life or ignore him, nor did I want to. Alec was good and kind. He didn’t deserve my unfriendliness.
“I’m sorry,” I said, softening my shoulders. “I’m not angry at you.”
I was angry at myself.
“You have nothing to be sorry about.” He was quiet for a moment and then said, “I’ve missed you, Keira.”
“I’ve missed you, too.” And that was part of the problem. I was already mourning the loss of Alexander Paxton-Hill from my life. Because if all went as planned, I might be married to someone else in just a few short months.
Something I didn’t want to contemplate for many reasons.
The grand saloon was a glittering space, capable of seating all 340 first-class passengers for supper, though there were many empty seats, like Aunt Maude’s. Alec and I sat at the captain’s table, along with Mrs. Garfield and Louise and several other wealthy passengers. The room was on the main deck and had a tall cupola in the center of the ceiling, with massive windows to let in light and ventilation. Everything in the room was decorated in white and gold.
“Is this your first passage over?” Captain Perry asked me, since I was seated to his right.
“No, but the first of my memory. I was born in England and came to America as an infant.”
“I’ve gone over half a dozen times,” Louise said as she set her crystal goblet on the table, waving her hand as if my comment was absurd. “How odd that you’ve never returned to England before now.”
I smiled at Louise, not elaborating. I hated to perpetuate the lie that I was a relative of Aunt Maude’s from St. Paul, so I simply said nothing.
“You’ve chosen the best voyage,” Captain Perry said to me, not shifting his attention to Louise as she had probably hoped he would. “We’re making great progress, and I have every confidence that we’ll break the speed record.”
I returned his smile. “What a wonderful accomplishment. You must be so proud.”
“Where will your travels take you in Europe?” asked the gentleman on my left, Mr. Keeton. He was a wealthy, single financier from New York. He and Captain Perry had kept my attention all evening.
Alec sat across from me, next to Louise. There were a few couples, one other young woman, and Mr. Keeton. When Louise wasn’t dominating the conversation, we’d enjoyed discussing literature, society, and history while dining on oysters, salmon with hollandaise sauce, lamb with mint sauce, cauliflower au gratin, and custard.
Through it all, Alec was quiet, his gaze often on me and the conversations I had with the captain and Mr. Keeton. Apparently, he was taking his orders from Aunt Maude seriously, though I doubted he would correct my blunders when we were in private. Alec never corrected me.
When supper finished, everyone rose from the table. The women would withdraw to the ladies’ drawing room, while the men would go to the smoking room for cigars and brandy.
The last thing I wanted to do was spend the evening with the other women, gossiping and positioning myself for social dominance, but there were few other options, unless I wanted to go back to my room and be alone.
Alec caught my eye as he joined me and offered me his arm. Leaning close he said, “Would you like to walk alongthe promenade deck? I have no desire to join the men in the smoking room tonight.”
“You read my mind,” I said quietly, relieved to bypass the ladies’ drawing room.
As the passengers exited the dining room, we walked up the grand staircase to the upper deck and then the promenade deck. It was quieter up there, with only a few couples strolling along, arm in arm.
The moon was full and brilliant as it reflected on the ocean, sending a trail of light in its wake. Thankfully, the wind had calmed, and the sea was peaceful. I continued to hold Alec’s arm as he walked me along the length of the deck, farther away from the other couples.
Neither one of us spoke as we listened to the sound of the ship slicing through the water and crashing against the waves. The noise filled the night air as the ship lifted and lowered along its course.
