Disappointment overwhelmed me. “I should return to the ballroom.” I took a step backward. “My dance card is full.”
This time, Alec didn’t stop me.
I wished I hadn’t come into the garden. And I wished I hadn’t agreed to Aunt Maude’s plans.
It hurt too much.
13
The SSOregonwas said to be the fastest steamship on the high seas. As I stood on board the brand-new vessel, watching the endless Atlantic Ocean from the promenade deck, I didn’t have a hard time believing it. Captain Perry was attempting to earn the coveted Blue Riband title for the fastest eastbound transatlantic crossing, from New York to Ireland, held by a previous ship for the past two years.
Wind tore at my gown and threatened to pull off my hat, which was held in place by two pearl-studded hat pins. I pressed my hand against it, marveling at the breadth of the Atlantic Ocean. It was a wonder that I had crossed this body of water one other time in my life, though I had no memory of it. All I knew was New York City. No doubt I’d been in third-class, with those below deck.
I was both thrilled and terrified to be on my way to Europe. All I could think about was my mother and whether I would find her. What if she was no longer living in England or, worse, had died? Thoughts of my mother soon turned to my family in Five Points. How were they faring? What would they think ifthey knew what I was doing with my life? I didn’t have money of my own, but I was determined that as soon as I did, I would send some to my cousins. What good was wealth and status if I couldn’t help Imogen out of poverty?
Gallagher stood behind me, near the outer wall of the ladies’ drawing room. She did not like to get close to the railings, deathly afraid of falling overboard. She watched me with apprehension. I hadn’t thought anything could frighten my intrepid lady’s maid.
“Miss Hill.” Mrs. Garfield approached, her daughter, Louise, at her side. “I thought I saw your name on the passenger list.”
I gave a slight curtsey, as I’d been instructed, and nodded at Mrs. Garfield and Louise. I had seen them at several social events throughout the past few months, and most recently at Mrs. Vanderbilt’s party. But we rarely spoke, especially when Aunt Maude wasn’t with me.
“We heard George Vanderbilt tried to get passage on this vessel,” Mrs. Garfield continued, a knowing smile on her face. “But every stateroom was full.”
“I heard the same.”
Mrs. Garfield shared a look with her daughter before turning back to me. “We were surprised an engagement wasn’t announced before the ship left port.”
“An engagement?” I frowned.
“Oh, don’t be coy,” Louise said. “Everyone knows George is in love with you. Surely he has proposed.”
My cheeks warmed under their scrutiny, but I wouldn’t give them the pleasure of knowing one way or the other. Instead, I simply smiled.
“No doubt he’ll be on your heels as soon as we arrive in Europe,” Mrs. Garfield purred.
“I don’t know what Mr. Vanderbilt’s plans are when he’s in Europe,” I told her honestly.
The two ladies shared another look before Mrs. Garfield asked, “Where is your dear Aunt Maude? I would expect her to be promenading with you this first day out to sea, so you could meet everyone on board.”
“Unfortunately, Aunt Maude is not feeling well,” I confessed. “Seasickness.”
“That is unfortunate.” Mrs. Garfield grabbed at her hat as a sudden gust of wind whipped at all of us. “I hope she’ll be recovered enough to join us for supper.”
“I do, too.”
They continued past me, talking in low tones as they bent their heads together. Louise turned once to run her gaze up the length of my gown and lift an eyebrow before turning back to her mother.
With a sigh, I faced Gallagher. “I think I’ll check on Aunt Maude.”
She nodded with relief and then followed me as I entered the interior of the ship, thankful to be out of the wind.
The SSOregonwas only a few months old and boasted the most luxurious accommodations in the Guion Line. Beautiful woodwork adorned every room on the ship and plush carpet cushioned my feet as I made my way to one of the larger first-class cabins on the main deck. There were four rooms in our suite, one for Alec, one for Aunt Maude, and one for me. Gallagher and Brown, Aunt Maude’s lady’s maid, were sleeping in a separate cabin, as was Alec’s valet, Mr. Timmons. In the center of the suite was a common sitting room with luxurious furniture, rich upholstery, and electric Edison lights. Everything was much larger than I had anticipated, with generous windows and comfortable beds. No expense had been spared.
I entered the sitting room, wondering if I would see Alec. We had spoken very little over the past week since Mrs. Vanderbilt’s fancy dress ball. He’d spent every free moment at the office,preparing for his departure to Europe. Early that morning, as we’d left Aunt Maude’s home on Fifth Avenue, he’d kept to himself as Aunt Maude had given me last-minute instructions about shipboard etiquette. Since our arrival onboard, he’d been scarce.
He wasn’t in the sitting room and the door to his cabin was closed.
It was for the best. After both of us had confessed our feelings to one another, what more was there to say? Our circumstances would not change and it was torture to hope otherwise.
