Blinking, I only shook my head. “He said he was taken with me and wanted to further our friendship.”
Aunt Maude frowned, but then her face softened. “And what the prince wants, the prince gets.”
Except he had wanted Nellie, and he had wanted me, and he got neither.
23
Over the following week, grief filled me every time I thought about Alec’s inevitable departure, and my engagement to the duke, but joy took me by surprise when I thought about the prince’s visit—my father’s visit. It had changed everything to know who he was, and who my family members were.
For the first time since I’d agreed to Aunt Maude’s wild plans, I realized that I was more than qualified to become a real duchess. And I spent a lot of time thinking through my childhood, wondering if there had been some part of me that always knew the truth. Uncle Charlie and Aunt Orla had called me Duchess growing up, but it had been a derogatory term, meant to shame me. I was certain they had no idea who my father was, but had there been a part of my bearing or mannerisms that had reflected the truth?
I would never know, so I tried not to dwell on it. The world would never know the truth, but it was enough that I knew. For the first time in my life, I had a sense of belonging, of understanding who I was and where I came from. Both of myparents had told me they wanted to keep me. My father had even said he would have abdicated the throne for me and my mother. But Nellie had chosen the wisest course for the sake of England, even if it had been a great sacrifice for the three of us to bear.
As I stood in the front drawing room at 7 Buckingham Gate, dressed in the gown I would wear to the Duke of Severton’s ball, I looked out the window at Buckingham Palace and marveled that God had returned me home. The puzzle pieces of my life were all together now, and I could see the picture in its entirety.
“There you are,” Aunt Maude said as she entered the drawing room, resplendent in a Worth gown fit for the mother of a duchess. “Lady Mandeville’s carriage will be here shortly. Are you ready?”
I gave her a brief nod but looked behind her to see if Alec had joined us.
He hadn’t.
“You look lovely, Clara,” Aunt Maude said as she pulled on her long white gloves. “I like what Gallagher did with your hair.”
“Thank you.” I touched the coiffure, my own gloves making it impossible to feel the strands of hair. I was wearing a new silver and diamond tiara that Aunt Maude had purchased from Garrard & Company, the royal jeweler. It was a simple tiara, but it was beautiful, and, I was certain, expensive. What would Alec think when he saw the extravagant purchase?
Aunt Maude and I had done a lot of shopping that week. She was convinced that once the duke and I were engaged, the revenue boost from their hotels would more than compensate for her expenditures.
I wasn’t so sure, but then again, I didn’t understand how those things worked.
“Are you ready, my dear?” she asked me.
“Is Alec not coming?”
She pursed her lips and lifted her chin. “I do not believe so.”
I had not seen him since the kiss in the sitting room. He had spent all his time at White’s, leaving in the morning before I woke up and coming in late at night, after I was in bed. His avoidance was almost worse than anything else.
“Why did he stay in London if he wasn’t going to attend the ball tonight?” I asked, trying not to let my disappointment show.
She briefly closed her eyes in irritation. “I asked him to stay until the morning after the ball, assuming he wouldattendthe ball, but when I spoke to him this morning, he told me, in no uncertain terms, that he would not.” She sighed. “And because I did not want to argue with him, I chose to let it go. We really don’t need him anymore.”
Her words stung. Aunt Maude had used both Alec and me to get what she wanted. The way she so easily threw people aside when she was done with them was alarming and heartless. The longer I knew her, the less I wanted to be like her.
Through the window, I saw Lady Mandeville’s carriage arrive out front.
My insides were twisted in knots as I took a deep breath. When I returned to the house tonight, I would be engaged to the Duke of Severton—to Ames Welby. I had seen him on two occasions that week, both at social events we’d attended. Just like before, he and I had shared witty banter, but there was no spark of romance between us. At least, not on my part. He had shared nothing more about his family’s scandalous past, or his home at Pickering Castle. I’d resigned myself to the fact that I would learn everything I needed to know about himafterwe were married. A dubious prospect, since I’d be legally and morally bound to him at that point and would have no recourse if the truth was too difficult to bear.
With no time left and nothing else to be done, I followed Aunt Maude out of the drawing room and toward the front door, where Rodgers stood waiting. My gaze went up the stairs,hoping and praying Alec had changed his mind and would join us. Would I even see him before he left in the morning? Would our final parting be that impassioned kiss in the sitting room last week?
Tears threatened, but I forced them back. I couldn’t arrive at the duke’s ball with red, puffy eyes.
Lady Mandeville was in her carriage, waiting for us.
“Clara, how lovely you look,” she said, approval in her gaze as I stepped into the vehicle. “You are meant to be a duchess.”
“Thank you,” I managed to say, though my throat was dry.
Aunt Maude stepped in next and settled on the seat beside the countess.
