Eleanor stared at William, her heart pumping wildly. “You’re going to send her away?”
How would she live without Miriam? The baby had been with her every day of her life. Eleanor could not have loved her more if she had been her own flesh and blood. She had not even allowed herself to think about being separated.
William watched Eleanor carefully, concern and compassion in his gaze. “I have prayed about my decision and have decided to take her there myself when Governor Semple leaves in the coming days. I never had intentions of staying in Assiniboia permanently. When I felt God calling me away, I planned to go. And now the time has come.”
Tears began to form in Eleanor’s eyes and she could not stop them from falling. Embarrassed, she turned from William and wiped them away with her gloved fingers.
William reached inside his robes and removed a white handkerchief, which he gently extended to Eleanor. His voice was soft as he spoke. “I’m sorry to share this so unexpectedly. I didn’t know how to tell you.”
She tried to pull her emotions together as she nodded. “Where will you go in England?”
“There are many villages in need of a vicar. I am hoping for a quiet little hamlet where I can raise Miriam in safety.”
Eleanor used the handkerchief to dab at the tears on her cheeks. She could almost see Miriam in a little country village, growing more and more beautiful through the years. If her emerging personality was any indication, she would be a strong, vibrant, and passionate young woman. The thought of not seeing her ever again was too much for Eleanor to bear and the tears began to fall again.
“Eleanor.” William moved from the bench he was on and came to sit beside her. He did not sit too close, but he did turn to face her. His eyes were as blue as the sky overhead, and full ofemotions she couldn’t begin to identify. “I do not wish to return to England alone, or to raise Miriam on my own. She needs a mother and—” He swallowed. “I desire a wife.”
The fort began to fade around her as she comprehended his intentions and her stomach filled with nerves.
“I have grown to care for you very much,” he said, a smile in his eyes. “And I know Miriam loves you as if you were her mother. You would honor both of us if you would become my wife and return to England by our sides. I know I do not deserve you, and I cannot pretend that you care for me the way I care for you, but I would hope that in time we might grow to love one another very much.”
Eleanor didn’t know what to say or how to respond. His declaration was such a surprise, she hadn’t prepared herself to answer him. “I—”
Miriam took a giant step away from the bench and tumbled to the dirt. Her cries filled the air around them and Eleanor leapt to her feet to pull the little girl into her arms. Dirt smudged Miriam’s chin, and a small scratch produced a spot of blood.
William also rose and came to Eleanor’s side. He gently took the handkerchief from Eleanor’s hand and used it to carefully remove the dirt and blood from Miriam’s chin.
The baby cried and nuzzled her face into Eleanor’s shoulder. Eleanor bounced her in her arms and patted her back, whispering soothing words.
Eventually, Miriam stopped crying, but she kept her cheek on Eleanor’s shoulder, her eyes drooping with fatigue.
“She’ll need to have her lunch and then go down for her afternoon nap,” Eleanor told William.
“Perhaps we can speak later?” he asked her. “I had the luxury of time to think and pray before I spoke to you. I know you will need the same.”
She nodded.
“Governor Semple will be leaving soon,” William warned. “I do not wish to rush you, but I will need an answer within a day or two. If you agree to marry me, it will have to be done at York Factory, where there is another minister.”
There were so many emotions swirling in Eleanor’s heart, she didn’t know where to set her thoughts. All she could do was offer William a wobbly smile.
They started back toward the governor’s house, but she couldn’t stop herself from glancing at the lookout tower where Arran had been spending most of his time. He was there now, facing the prairie, his back straight and his chin high.
If he truly thought it was best for her to leave the colony, she would have no other recourse than to marry William. The minister was offering her a good life, and more importantly, she could raise Miriam as her own.
If it had not been for Arran, she would have said yes to William already. Being his wife would not be an unpleasant existence.
But it would not be the marriage her heart longed for, nor the life she wanted to live.
A flash of lightning, followed by the distant sound of thunder, reverberated through the governor’s house and into Eleanor’s aching chest. She wrapped her shawl around her shoulders and stared at the empty page of her journal, the tears dripping silently down her face. There were no words to write that could convey the depth of her anguish over the idea of losing Miriam. The baby had become her daughter. In every way that mattered, Eleanor had become her mother. She could not fathom the grief she would endure if Miriam was taken from her.
Yet, how could she leave Arran? Her love for him was different, but equally as powerful. He had told her he wantedher to leave, but she was willing to stay and face the dangers, whatever may come, if it meant being at his side. She had made great progress with the school and longed to restart classes in the fall, building on the things she’d taught the children. Their curiosity and thirst for knowledge had given her a sense of purpose as she tried to meet their enthusiasm. But there was so much she still wanted to accomplish. She dreamed of one day building a school and opening it to all the children in Assiniboia who wanted to come.
Another streak of lightning filled the house with a flash of blue light. Eleanor wiped the tears and looked toward the window, hoping Arran would arrive soon. He had not been home all day. The last she had seen of him was directly after the church service when he had gone to the lookout tower.
Nicolette and Miriam had gone to sleep in the room they shared, while the governor was already snoring in his room upstairs. William had quietly said good night, but Eleanor knew he would be up studying for hours, as was his habit.
It was nights like tonight when Eleanor usually filled the pages of her journal with the events laying heavy upon her heart. But she could not bring herself to record the possibility of William taking Miriam from her—or the choice that would lead Eleanor away from Arran for good. They had not spoken in private since the long-ago feast, yet there were so many things she wanted to tell him—and so many things she wanted to hear.
