As always, my cheeks warmed under his praise.
“How do you fare today, lass?” he asked.
I rose and set the Bible aside to help him with the food. “I’m feeling much stronger.”
And even more so now that he was home.
The thought caught me off guard. And I wondered when I had started to think of this small cabin on theOcean Curseas home. Did the peace I felt here have something to do with it feeling like home, or was it Marcus, and him alone, that made me feel as if I belonged in this unlikely place?
He continued to examine me as he set the food on the table. “Your color is better today, and your eyes look clear and bonnie again.”
My pulse sped at his compliment, and not for the first time, I wished I could wear a pretty dress to highlight my curves and stylemy hair to look more attractive. But even without all my feminine accoutrements, he still thought I was pretty.
We sat across from one another at the table, but Marcus’s gaze fell on the Bible.
“I hope you don’t mind,” I said.
“Nay.” He left the table and retrieved the Bible. “I don’t mind at all.”
When he sat down again, he ran his hand over the worn binding and said, “Do you believe in God, Caroline?”
I had shared a lot about my other life with him, but I had not told him much about my father or his profession. Perhaps I hadn’t wanted him to expect me to be perfect. “My father in 1927 is a well-known minister. He preaches to people all over the world through the radio. I grew up reading the Bible, attending Sunday school, and sitting through hours of his sermons.”
Marcus’s brown eyes were probing as he said, “Just because you attend church and read the Bible doesn’t mean you believe.”
I sighed as I pushed my boiled beef around the plate with my fork. “My relationship with God is complicated.”
“I can understand that.”
“What about you?” I asked him. “Do you believe?”
“Aye, with all my heart. But my relationship with God is complicated, too.”
“Mayhap ’tis complicated for most people.”
“It didn’t seem that way for my mam.”
“I suppose it doesn’t seem that way for my parents, either. If my grandmother hadn’t cursed my mother and me, mayhap my relationship with God would be easier.”
“But what if it wasn’t a curse? What if God chose for you to be born with two lives?”
He had suggested that one other time. I’d wrestled with that idea, but I couldn’t imagine how or why.
“Here.” He opened the Bible to the book of John, not far from where I’d been reading, and found chapter nine. “When Jesus came upon the man born blind from birth, His disciples asked if theman was blind because of his sin, or because of his parents’ sin. But Jesus said it was neither. That he had been born blind so that God could manifest His power and goodness through the man.”
I stared at Marcus, frowning. “What does that mean?”
“Mayhap you were born this way so God can work through your life, Caroline. Not because your mother or grandmother sinned, but because God has a plan for you.” He shook his head. “I chose to sin against my mother, and I choose to continue to live as a pirate. I know ’tis not what God wants, but I don’t know how to stop. That’s what complicates my relationship with Him. But you didn’t choose to sin against God. Even if your mother and grandmother did, that is not your guilt or shame to bear. Boldly walk before God and believe He hears you and sees you. Look for His blessings and don’t let the sins of your ancestors stop you from taking hold of God’s goodness.”
I stared at him, surprised at his passion and fervor. “You could be a preacher.”
He slowly closed the Bible, but he let his hand rest upon it. “Aye, mayhap if I’d made different decisions, God would want me.”
I laid my hand over his, wanting to minister to his heart and soul like he’d just done to mine. “God didn’t send Jesus for the healthy, Marcus. He sent Him for the sinner. He sent Him for all of us. There is not a preacher alive who can stand blameless before God. We can’t change the past, but we can change the future. No matter how long you’re gone, you can always return home.”
He had not lifted his gaze from our hands, but when he did, there was so much pain and heartache.
“I wish it was that easy.” He turned his hand to clasp mine, running his thumb gently over my skin. Under the formidable exterior of Marcus Zale’s pirate life, there was a tender, complex man.
