A thought struck me like lightning, rocking me so violently, it took my breath away. “Will I die there on my twenty-first birthday?”
She studied me in the dim light and shrugged. “I don’t know, but that’s only eleven days from now.”
Eleven days. Would I lose Marcus in eleven days, just after I’d started to hope we might have a future? I couldn’t bear the thought. “How will I know?”
“You won’t.”
“There must be someone who knows. Maybe Rachel’s family, or one of her old friends. Someone.” I sounded desperate because I felt desperate.
“Can you even get to Massachusetts in eleven days?” she asked.
How long would it take to sail from Charleston to Salem? Could it be done in less than eleven days? Because I would also need timeto look for Rachel’s family, if she had any left. “I don’t want to lose my life there.”
“I don’t know if you have a choice.”
I still had so many questions for Annie, but all I could think about was getting to Salem. Though one question still burned deep in my chest. “Did you have a choice?”
“What do you mean?”
“Your lives.” I swallowed the nerves bubbling up again. “Did you have a choice to be a pirate, and to be ... whatever it is you are now? Could you control that?”
I waited, feeling like the fate of my soul hung on her response.
Did I have a choice?
“Yes,” she finally said, sadness lining her face. “Everyone always has a choice. I didn’t have to run away when I was thirteen. I didn’t have to leave John Sterling to follow Sam Delaney, and I didn’t have to take up with Lloyd. But desperation makes you do unspeakable things.”
“John Sterling, the merchant? Was he my father?”
Annie shook her head. “Sam was your father, Caroline. But I knew if he found out about you, he’d force me to do something drastic. A pirate ship is no place for a child. I couldn’t let that happen—but I couldn’t stay on the plantation with my father, so I had to make a choice. That’s why I left you there.”
“You chose Sam over me.”
She dropped her gaze.
My father was Sam Delaney, another notorious pirate. How was it possible that one set of my parents were infamous criminals and the other were devout law-abiding citizens? It was as if my very existence was divided by good and evil—yet the line between them was fine.
“When Sam was hanged,” she continued, “my reason for living was gone—until I met Lloyd.”
“Why?” I shook my head. “If you had a choice, why did you become a criminal?”
She hugged herself and shrugged. “My soul is lost, Caroline. Iknow I’ll die this way. I’ve accepted that God doesn’t care. I might as well have some fun while there’s time. I was born to be a pirate, whether on a ship at sea or in a stolen roadster on land.”
Her words echoed my own fears, that God didn’t care and that my soul was lost. But Marcus had shown me it wasn’t true. Goddidcare. Everything He created was good. Even this strange existence was good. The way we chose to deal with it was up to us. We could either choose good or evil.
“God cares, Annie. It’s a lie to think He doesn’t, and it leads us to live for ourselves and not Him.” I thought of my father’s preaching, and a hundred different things came to mind, but I suspected that Annie Barker had heard many of them, so I chose not to continue. Instead, I approached her and wrapped my arms around her in an embrace, knowing she needed proof. “And I care, too.”
She was stiff, but she slowly softened until she enfolded me in her arms and hugged me back.
“I’ve always wanted to tell you I love you,” I whispered.
She began to weep silently, though her body shook with emotion.
“Can you forgive me, Caroline?” she asked.
“Yes.”
Her hug tightened, then she stiffened again.
