“Papa, don’t look at me that way.”
“I don’t know how else to look at you.”
“I’m not doing anything wrong. God created me to heal. This is my purpose.”
“Disobeying your father isn’t wrong?”
I took a deep breath. “I am an adult woman. Perhaps that doesn’t matter as much in 1861, but in my other paths, I am independent and able to make my own choices. How long must I obey my earthly father when my heavenly One is calling me to action?”
I was presenting ideas to him that were foreign—and perhaps unwanted. But they were no less true.
Finally, his shoulders stooped, and he said, “I do not want to be in discord with you, Margaret.”
“I don’t either.”
“I know that.” He sighed heavily. “I’ve relied so much upon you since losing your mother, but that’s not fair to you. You’re an intelligent, accomplished young woman, and now that I know you have even more to deal with, my own needs and wants seem ridiculous in comparison.”
“They’re not ridiculous. I want to honor you, Papa, and take care of you.”
“You do, Margaret. Every day. Your entire life has been devoted to me.” He walked over to the empty fireplace and lookeddown at the grate. “I’ve decided not to stand in your way any longer.”
“What does that mean?”
“If you want to continue helping Miss Barton, or if you want to volunteer in the hospitals, you have my blessing.”
I opened my mouth to thank him, but he continued.
“With one condition.” He looked back at me. “I would still like you to be my hostess, and to be available for events like the one Mrs. Greenhow is hosting tonight.”
“Of course.”
“And do not discuss what you are doing in polite society. I know things are changing quickly, but there are still those who do not condone a young woman working in such conditions.”
“I won’t.”
“Good.” His gaze grew tender. “I’m very proud of you, Margaret. Even though I don’t understand what you told me about your other paths, I would really like to try—if you’ll let me. I know you have a big decision to make, and I don’t want to hinder you in any way.”
I entered his embrace, tears gathering in my eyes. “Thank you, Papa. You don’t know how much that means to me.”
With his blessing, I was already starting to plan how I might be of more service to the military hospitals in the city. I had heard that the United States Sanitary Commission was taking on capable nurses to fill the new hospitals. In the morning, I would seek the letters of recommendation they required and see if I could find work.
Papa pulled back. “Now, I believe we have a dinner party to attend.”
I smiled at him and nodded, and then decided to ask him one more question, since he appeared to be in a better mood. “Have you heard anything about Mr. Cooper? I haven’t seen him since the day after the Battle of Bull Run.”
“Were you expecting to see him?”
I wasn’t sure how Papa would feel about Gray’s intentions, but I didn’t want any more secrets between us. “He asked if he could call on me but then sent a note telling me he had been called away for work and would come when he had the opportunity. But it’s been over two weeks, and I haven’t heard another word from him.”
“Unfortunately, I haven’t either. It seemed he was everywhere all the time before the battle, and now I haven’t seen him even once since then.”
I swallowed my dread at Papa’s words. He was at the White House every day, working with members of the War Department—shouldn’t he have crossed paths with Gray at least once? Did I dare voice my worries that Gray was a Southern spy? Wouldn’t Papa have heard something about it if he was?
Papa watched me closely. “I am not sure if I trust Mr. Cooper, Margaret.”
Apprehension tightened my stomach. “What do you mean?”
“There is something about him, something I haven’t quite placed.”
