He took a seat on the sofa and patted the spot next to him. “Tell me.”
I lowered myself onto the sofa, my arms and legs heavy with exhaustion. “I was born with a gift,” I said without preamble. “I do not simply live here in 1861. I also live in the years 1941 and 2001. When I go to sleep here, I wake up in 1941, and when I go to sleep in 1941, I wake up in 2001. As soon as I fall asleep in 2001, I wake up back here, and no time has passed while I’ve been away. In 1941, I’m a navy nurse, and in 2001, I’m a medical student, working to become a surgeon. My parents in 1941 are marked with this gift, and I inherited it from them.”
Papa didn’t say anything for a long, long time. He just stared at me with very little emotion on his face.
I held my breath, afraid he’d think I was insane and send me to an asylum.
“This explains a lot,” he finally said. “When you were little, you used to talk about the strangest things and about people who seemed so real to you. You told me about horseless carriages, vehicles in the sky, boxes that had moving pictures inside them, and a whole host of things that made no sense. You told me about other parents and siblings and places I had never taken you before. At first I wrote it off as imagination or fancy, but you were so adamant and so convincing that I always wondered. And then one day you stopped talking about those things quite suddenly, and I put it out of my mind.”
“That was the day I finally understood that I was different,” I told him. “My marked mother warned me to stop talking about those things with you, since you would never understand and it would just complicate my life.”
Papa gently placed his hand over mine. “It is truly real, Margaret?”
I nodded. There was so much I wanted to tell him, so much I wanted to explain. Foremost in my mind was the fact that I might never come back to 1861, and now that he knew the truth, I needed to tell him the rest.
“My marked mother told me that if I knowingly change history in one of my paths, then I would forfeit that path.” I swallowed, my pulse beating hard. “I saved a man’s life today with a procedure that is not yet developed in 1861—a man who would have died had I not helped him.”
Papa stared at me. “What does that mean?”
“It means that I might have forfeited this path, Papa. It means I might not wake up here tomorrow. But I had to do it. I couldn’t sit back and watch him die if I could stop it from happening. I’m so sorry.”
He drew me into his arms, and I began to cry.
After today, I might never see him again. But I had finally told him the truth.
14
JULY 21, 1941
BETHESDA, MARYLAND
The next morning, I lay in my dorm room for a long time after I woke up. Anna was already in the shower down the hall. I needed to get dressed since I was supposed to be on duty in half an hour, but I couldn’t make myself get out of bed.
Rain drizzled down the windowpane, making the world look bleak. It had been raining for so many days now that I wondered if the sun would ever shine again.
Memories from the night before, as I’d cried on Papa’s shoulder, returned to me, and I felt the heaviness sink deeper into my soul. Would I ever see him again? Would I see Gray? Were they waking up, at this very moment, to discover that I had died? Papa would be inconsolable. And it was all for the life of a soldier I’d never met before. A nameless face who had been destined to bleed to death at the disastrous Battle of Bull Run until I’d come across him.
I closed my eyes tight, my soul searching for answers. “Lord,” I prayed quietly, “please don’t take 1861 away from me. I know the rules, and I know I broke them, but I didn’t intend to changehistory for my own gain or the gain of a loved one. I was doing what You created me to do—heal. I want to keep healing there, to take care of my father, and...”
I let the next part of my prayer trail off, though God knew what I was going to say.
I wanted to spend more time with Gray.
The sound of Anna’s slippered feet met my ears a moment before she opened the door, and I realized, belatedly, that I’d been crying.
“I hope you’re not getting sick,” she said as she hung her wet towel on the hook just behind the door. She wore a kimono and a shower cap over her hair to protect her waves. “Do you feel sick?”
I wiped my tears and pushed back my covers. “I’m okay.” I didn’t want to talk about yesterday, about the battle or the soldier or Gray. I wanted to forget all of it for now and turn my attention to this day. To this life. To this calling.
“You’ll be late if you don’t hurry.”
Thankfully, I didn’t have to worry about what I was supposed to wear. I quickly put on my garter belt, undergarments, and silk stockings, then slipped into my white nurse’s uniform. I’d slept with a hairnet the night before to preserve my high curls and had to touch them up a bit to make them look presentable. After going to the bathroom to brush my teeth, splash cold water onto my face, and apply a little rouge and lipstick so I didn’t look so pale, I was ready to work.
Anna had already left to start her duties, so I walked to the surgery ward on my own. As hard as I tried, I could not stop thinking about Gray and how much I would miss him if I never saw him again. It wasn’t just disappointment I felt, but grief—more than I would have expected. I’d only known him a few months, yet I had felt a connection to him that I didn’t feel with anyone else. He was so perceptive, so present in each situation. Even on the battlefield, he’d never lost hiscool or panicked. When I barked orders at him, he had followed them and not been angry or insulted by my behavior. He’d helped me during the long surgery and never questioned my abilities. I wished I had thought to apologize to him for my tone on the battlefield ...but at least I had kissed him.
Just the thought of my lips on his cheek brought heat to my own. I’d never kissed a man, other than my fathers, and though it was a chaste kiss, it had still filled me with an inexplicable feeling. What would it be like to truly kiss him?
I might never know.
