Or what about Dr. Philips? Just thinking about the way he had looked at my lips, or the way he had smiled at me ... I had to close my eyes for a moment to focus my thoughts. What did I feel for him? He had a gruff exterior, but I sensed it was only a mask for a tender heart.
“There’s something there,” Anna said. “I can see it in your face. You’re falling in love.”
“Is it possible to fall in love with three different men at the same time?”
She lifted her eyebrows. “Are you serious?”
With a deep sigh, I told her about each of the men I had met on April 18. When I was done, all she could do was smile, though it was a sad smile.
“I don’t know what you’re going to do,” she said, “but no matter what, follow your heart, Maggie. I’ve been in love, and I can assure you that there is nothing worse in life than trying to live without your soulmate.”
“Do you believe in soulmates?”
“With all of my heart.”
“Even though you lost yours?” I whispered.
“Especially because I lost mine. But I’m coming to realize that we don’t each have just one soulmate. I believe that whoever God intends for us is our soulmate. And I think there might be another one out there for me somewhere. I just hope and pray I find him.”
“Could Gray, Seth, and Zechariah each be my soulmate?” I asked, hoping she had an answer.
She looked pensive for a moment and then lifted a shoulder. “I don’t know. Only you can answer that question. Just make sure that whoever you choose brings out the best version of yourself. Richard brought out the best in me, which is why I feel so lost without him.”
“The qualities he loved about you are still there, Anna. You haven’t lost them, you’ve only lost sight of them.”
She wrapped me in a tight hug. “No matter who you choose, he will be the luckiest guy in the world.”
“I’m not supposed to make my decision based on one person. That’s never been the plan.”
Anna pulled back. “Then what are you basing it on?”
“Delilah said I should answer the question of who I am. And whichever path is truly me is the path I should choose.”
Anna frowned. “Isn’t each path you?”
My shoulders fell. “I suppose.”
“You are a combination of each path. You can’t separate one from the other and say one is you over the others.”
I briefly closed my eyes as the truth settled over me. “Then what? How am I supposed to choose?”
She examined me, her green eyes probing. “What is the most important thing in the world to you—besides the people you love?”
“Healing.” I didn’t even hesitate. “Doing the most I can with the time I’ve been given.”
“Then perhaps that’s how you answer the question. Where can you do the most healing, Maggie?”
Was it that easy? But where could I do the most healing? In 2001, I had the benefit of modern technology and ongoing medical discoveries. Did that allow me to do the most healing? In 1861, I had the least technology and information, but with myadvanced knowledge, I could do more in that path than most. Did that mean I should eliminate 1941, since it had neither?
That didn’t make any sense.
Maybe I needed to answer both questions. Which path was truly me? And where could I do the most healing?
With a sigh, I realized I still had no idea.
It was easier to pretend I wasn’t running out of time.
12
