“Good,” he said with a gentle chuckle, placing his hand upon my cheek. “I wouldn’t trust myself to be alone with you.”
My cheeks warmed, and I placed my hand over his. I didn’t want to share him with Mama, but we could not stay in thehallway all evening. And after my discussion with James, there were things I needed to tell him.
“Henry.” Mama smiled in surprise when we entered the sitting room. “What brings you here?”
He looked at me with a tender gaze, and my cheeks warmed.
Mama’s smile fell, and I knew she was now fully aware of our feelings for each other. It was impossible to hide them any longer.
“I’ve returned to Williamsburg on request of the governor,” he said, “but I am not expected at the palace until tomorrow. ’Tis cold and lonely at my father’s house, so I thought I would come for a visit. I hope I am not intruding.”
“Not at all,” I assured him as I pulled a chair near the fire, my mind spinning with unanswered questions. Why had the governor called him? To question him? Charge him with treason? My heart pounded with fear, but I could not voice these concerns with Mama present, so I simply said, “Please have a seat.”
“Aye.” Mama seemed to pull her wits about herself again. “Sit and warm yourself.” She set aside the apron she was mending and stood. “I will go to the kitchen and make some tea.”
Henry or I should have tried to stop her, but neither of us did as we watched her walk from the room. The moment the back door closed, I sat beside Henry and reached for his hands.
He grasped mine, his face shining on me. “’Tis a wonder I survived the past four weeks away from you. My mind is so restless and my thoughts are so scattered that I can hardly put two words together or perform even the most mundane task.”
I wanted to smile at his teasing, but being with him only reminded me of the baby and the horrible decision I would have to make. Tears gathered in my eyes before I could stop them.
“Libby,” he said gently, his voice dipping with concern, “why are you crying?”
I wiped at the tear that fell down my cheek and tried to stopthe others. I could never explain to him why I was so upset, but I had to tell him something. “I’ve just missed you.”
He gathered me in his arms and kissed my temple. “’Tis no need to cry, love.”
The words I had uttered under the elm tree returned to me. I had told him that one day as his wife was better than none, but now it could never be. I could not marry Henry, not even for one day. There could be no possibility of another child. I was committed to the child I carried in 1915. Her life was now more important than any other. It was more important than my love for Henry—it had to be.
I could no longer carry on with Henry. It would only cause him more pain. In six months, when I was forced to stay in 1915, my body would die on this path, and Henry would mourn. If I could spare him even the slightest pain, I would do whatever it took. I would have to put space between us and no longer allow him to kiss me and declare his love. Because the more he did, the deeper our bond became, and the harder it would be to say good-bye.
I pulled away from him. He handed me a clean handkerchief, and I wiped my wet cheeks. “There’s something I must tell you.”
Uncertainty clouded his eyes. “I don’t like the way that sounds.”
I pressed my hands against my knees and took a deep breath. “Lieutenant Addison spoke to me today—”
“I would not listen to a word that man says.” Anger lit up Henry’s face in a flash. “He is not to be trusted, Libby. He’s one of the king’s officers.”
“But he is also a man,” I countered, “and he is kind and good.”
“I cannot trust a loyalist.”
He would not listen to me if he was angry, so I put my hand on his arm to calm his fears. “I have always been a good judgeof character. After all, I knew you were honorable from the moment I met you.”
His shoulders eased as he put his hand over mine.
I swallowed, loving the feel of his touch yet knowing I could not encourage it anymore. I did not want to pull away so suddenly that he would be hurt and confused, but I could not, in good conscience, initiate it any further. It made me feel shallow and flighty, falling into his arms one moment and turning him away the next. Yet I knew of no other way to spare him from heartbreak.
It wasn’t fair. I’d waited years for him to love me, and now I was meant to turn him away.
I slowly eased my hand away from his and stood to put another log on the fire. “I must speak to you about what the lieutenant said.”
He crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair. “Whatever he said, it sounds as if it frightened you.”
“Very much.” I was so restless that I could no longer sit, so I remained by the hearth. “He knows you are working against Governor Dunmore. He said that if you value your life, you must cease all your treasonous activities and swear fealty to the king.”
Henry didn’t speak for a moment as his eyes filled with questions. “Are you suggesting I give up the cause of freedom, Libby?”
