“Mayhap there is still time,” I told her, trying to grasp onto hope. “I could still lose the baby.”
She pulled back from me. “Libby.” Her voice was hushed. “You do not want that.”
I swallowed the blackness in my soul, knowing I should notwant such a thing, yet feeling desperate and afraid. I could not consciously allow my baby to die along with my 1915 body, but if something should happen to prevent the pregnancy from proceeding, I wasn’t certain I would mourn the loss.
“I promise you will love your baby,” she said, “and you will do anything within your power to protect and shelter her, to keep her safe and healthy. You will move heaven and earth to see to her well-being. And one day you will wonder how you ever lived without her—or how you will go on once she is no longer a part of your daily life.”
“Oh, Mama.” I hugged her again.
“It will be fine, my darling,” she said, running her hand over my back. “We still have some time together, and we will cherish every single moment. How many people know the day and hour of their parting? We are blessed, Libby. Blessed beyond measure.”
I did not feel blessed. I felt wretched and dejected.
But Mama’s words planted a seed of hope, small and deep. I clung to that hope, knowing that if I did not hold on tight, I would be lost in a sea of sorrow and melancholy. We still had six months until my birthday, and anything might happen.
And if I could not be spared, then Mama was right. As hard as it was to face the truth, my life was not my own. It never had been. Being in the center of God’s will was where I wanted to remain. If that meant living in 1915 and leaving Williamsburg behind for good, then I had to trust that God had a better plan.
And yet...
I closed my eyes as visions of Henry filled my heart and mind. It was one thing to say good-bye to Mama, for she understood completely. We would mourn each other for the rest of our lives, but at least she knew where I was going.
’Twas another thing to say good-bye to the man I loved more than the very air I breathed.
I didn’t think I could do it.
It was cold later that day as I walked out the back door to help Mariah get our midday meal on the table. The temperatures had fluctuated since Christmas, causing most of the snow to melt, but there were still piles of it in the corners of the buildings and along the pathways.
A strange sight caught my eye as soon as I closed the back door. Lieutenant Addison and Louis stood near the woodpile beside the kitchen, speaking in hushed voices. They did not notice me at first, but then James caught sight of me, and they both straightened their shoulders and nodded an acknowledgment.
I should not have cared what they were discussing, but I was not pleased to see them speaking in such a manner. Louis was our employee, and James was a guest, if an uninvited one. Were they conspiring against us?
Louis left James and walked past me, only meeting my eyes briefly as he returned to the printing room. James removed his tricorne and came toward me. His red coat and white trousers gleamed fresh and bright under the January sun. We had not spoken since Christmas Eve, though we saw each other in passing from time to time.
“Libby.” He bowed. “’Tis a pleasure to see you again.”
I glanced over my shoulder toward the printing room, unable to contain my anger. “I was not aware that you and Louis had become friends.”
James shrugged. “When you live as neighbors, you’re bound to get to know one another.”
“Yet you and I have not become friends.”
“Haven’t we?” He frowned. “I hoped we were more than acquaintances.”
“One trusts one’s friends.” I was feeling bold and mayhap alittle reckless today. The knowledge of my pregnancy in 1915 made me feel impervious to any more threats.
He studied me. “You don’t trust me?”
“There are very few people I trust these days.” I started to walk away, but his words stopped me.
“Do you trust Henry Montgomery?”
I paused and looked back at him but did not respond.
“You do know he’s working against Governor Dunmore, do you not?” He took a step closer to me. “And treason is punishable by death.”
Words failed me as I realized what he was saying.
“I like you, Libby. And because I like you, I will tell you something I should not.” He looked around and then lowered his voice. “If you want Montgomery to live a long and prosperous life, you should tell him to quit his activities immediately and swear fealty to the king. ’Tis his only hope.”
