“She says you’ve been difficult and petulant, that you have become unruly, undisciplined, and rebellious. She was so ashamed and embarrassed in England that she cut your trip short to bring you home.”
I stared at him, at a loss for words. “How could you believe that was true?”
“I don’t want to believe such things, but she said you were shameless in your behavior. She was adamant.”
“I was unhappy, yes.” I swallowed, horrified she would say those things about me, but even more troubled that Father might believe them. “But I wasn’t an embarrassment or shameful.” I put my hand on his forearm. “You know me. Have I ever been reprehensible?”
“I don’t know what to believe. She’s quite beside herself, and she cut your trip short. She’s been planning it for years.”
“That’s not why we came home. Did she not tell you? Lord Cumberland made a marriage offer, and she accepted on my behalf. She brought me home to prepare for the wedding.”
His frown only deepened. “She mentioned nothing of Lord Cumberland or a proposal.”
I did not want to speak ill of Mother Wells. No matter what she had done to me or how she had tried to control me through the years, she was my mother, the woman God had chosen for me in this path, and I could not dishonor her. But nor would I let her get away with her manipulations.
“I have not agreed to Lord Cumberland’s proposal, and she is upset with me. I believe that is at the crux of her unhappiness.”
He sighed, and his shoulders fell. “Who is this Lord Cumberland?”
I explained that he was the Marquess of Cumberland, a royal treasurer, and a good friend of the prime minister.
“So she has set her sights on a political match instead of just an aristocratic one.” He nodded, seeming now to understand what was happening. “I wondered how she would play the game.”
“You knew why we went?” The discovery of his knowledge was even more painful than Edith’s. “Why did you let her take me?”
“My dear.” His face was sad, his voice even more so. “Your mother has known exactly what she planned to do with your life from the moment you were born. There was nothing you or I could do to change those plans. I accepted it long ago, and the faster you accept it, the sooner you will find peace—and an escape.”
My heart broke at his words. “You approve of her choice?”
“It hardly matters what I think.”
“But it does!”
A clock chimed down the hall, and the sun was starting its descent in the western sky, casting longer shadows into my room.
“Libby, your mother is ill, whether from a real or imagineddisease, and her body is weak. I saw her with my own eyes.” He searched my face for an answer to his next question. “Do you truly dislike the idea of marrying Lord Cumberland?”
“I do not love him.”
“Marrying for love is a girlish fantasy, one that is neither reasonable nor realistic, especially for people like us. Love is fickle.” He stopped, and I wondered if he was thinking of his own love affair with Mother and how it had fizzled and died. “Emotions are untrustworthy, and feelings come and go. Marriage is an institution created to form alliances that benefit as many people as possible. I do not wish for you to be unhappy, but even if you married for love, there is no guarantee you’ll be happy.”
It wasn’t happiness I was seeking—at least not in 1914. But Father would not understand, so I had to appeal to his love and affection for me.
“Please do not ask me to marry him,” I said.
He sighed and nodded.
Now that I was home, Father would help me.
9
WILLIAMSBURG, VIRGINIA
JUNE 19, 1774
My twentieth birthday had finally arrived.
I stood in front of the mirror in my room above the printing office to adjust the stomacher of my second-best gown and fluff out the heavy skirts over the pannier I wore at my hips. It had been a long time since I’d had a new gown, but there was no extra money for such things. Mistress Hunter had agreed to make the girls’ new dresses on credit, which I despised, but there was little choice.
