“Is it Anassa and Cratos?” I push. “I know—I know the mate bond can be so confusing. Block it out, though. It’s what I do.”
Finally, he whips his head up. The look in his eyes is burning—it’s an inferno, and if I get too close to it, it will consume me whole.
I take a nervous breath, and he hears it, his gaze dropping to my lips, lingering there.
“It’s not the mate bond, Meryn,” he finally says, dragging his gaze back to mine. His voice is a low rumble that makes my pulse pound. “And it’s not out of some noble, misplaced sense of duty, either.”
“Then why?” The words come out so quiet.
“All my life, I’ve been surrounded by people who want power for the sake of it. Who want to prove their dominance and force subservience. I didn’t know there was another way. And then I met you.”
I think I’ve stopped breathing entirely.
“I see you, Meryn Sturmfrost. I see who you are and who you could become. It’s about the hope you give me for a better future for our country, and my selfish desire to bring it to fruition. I choose to serve at your side because Iwantthat. So tell me what you need, because it’s very late at night and I’m running short on patience.”
I swallow. My pulse is racing, my skin hot.
“I need…” Another shudder racks me, and suddenly I’m so tired, more tired than I’ve ever been. “I need to sleep. I want to be helpful when we go to Weisenstat and I don’t know how I’m going to manage it if I can’t get anyfucking sleep.”
I squeeze my eyes shut again in frustration.
“And Izabel… I can’t stop thinking about her. I’m the one who asked her to stay behind, not go on to the front with the rest of our packmates. I’m the reason she was here. She drank that emberwine, and it was meant forme.”
My stomach churns, grief and exhaustion tying my guts in knots, and my heart starts to race again, out of control.
“Hey,” Stark says urgently, hand coming up to grip my forearm tightly. My eyes flutter open, and I glance up at him again. “Wherever you’re going right now, don’t,” he says softly. “Take a deep breath, and then get back in bed.”
I’m not sure what else to do, so I follow his instructions. The first breath is almost painful, but by the second or third, my heart is calming, exhaustion pulling me back under. I stand, smooth the bedsheets tangled from my movement while I slept.
The bed has cooled, and the sheets aren’t as constricting when I slip back in. I extinguish the lantern again, then watch as Stark rises, too, removing his boots and moving to the other side of my bed.
“What are you doing?” I’m so tired that my mind can’t make sense of things.
“You said you need to sleep. So sleep.” He gracefully settles himself atop the covers, his broad shoulders making the huge bed look small. “I’ll keep watch. I could sense that something was wrong, earlier. Through the wolves’ mate bond, maybe. Now that I know… if I sense it again, that you’re getting pulled into that dreamworld, I’ll wake you up.”
I stare at the dark of the ceiling. “Okay.”
This is strange. But it’s also somehow… calming. The heat from his body is so close to mine that I could reach out and touch him. But I don’t.
I turn over to my side, facing away from him, but feeling him at my back. Watching my back.
The moment I close my eyes, though, my heart starts racing once more. My breath gets shallow, and Killian’s face swims up in the darkness, melting into Izabel, her face as she drank from my goblet, contorting as she chokes.
My eyes fly open, but it’s still there, burned into my vision, and I can’t help it—I start to cry.
Stark wraps one of his strong arms around me, pressing gently into my stomach through the covers. I twist my neck to look at him, startled.
“Is this okay?” His deep voice is uncharacteristically uncertain.
“It’s okay.” My body warms from the inside out, starting at the place where he touches me. I face away from him, and his arm settles more firmly around me, his body ever so gently pressing against my back.
His warmth and the solid weight of him are comforting. It soothes my breathing, helping me remember to take a full breath, then another.
I close my eyes again tentatively, focusing on the sensation of his strength around me, and no more visions come.
I’m senseless of the moment that I slip from wakefulness into sleep, deep and dreamless.
The first I’ve had in weeks.
