Killian mistakes my disgust for contemplation and edges closer again. “I had no choice in this. I was raised for this role.”
My heart pounds in my ears. I can’t forgive him, but—this, an unwanted role… If he’s being earnest, I can sympathize with it.
“Together we can destroy him, kitten.”
The nickname snaps me back into myself.
No. I have no sympathy.
I shove him away from me hard, and he stumbles back. “Stopcalling me that, youvilepiece of shit.”
Killian blinks at me in confusion.
The shadows around me begin to writhe, slithering over my legs, my arms. It’s just as it was in the arena. The darkness hears the silent screams I normally keep buried deep in my chest, and it draws them out.
Gives them power.
“However you brought us to this place,stop,” I order. Each syllable sends shadows writhing and lashing, but Killian stands untouched.
The corner of his lips lift.
And there he is again. The Killian who came to my bed, my fingers tracing his cheekbone, his lips lifting just likethat. And I kissed that little tug of amusement. It’s carving a hollow space in my chest that I don’t think I’ll ever fill.
Mere days ago, he was my whole world. It hurts; ithurts.
I want to slam my hand through his rib cage, pull out his beating heart, and feed it to Anassa.
“I’m not responsible for this shadow realm,” he says eventually. “An unintended side effect of your beautiful engagement bracelet, I think. I assumedyouwere drawing me into this space intentionally.”
Revulsion raises the hair on my arms.
His smile deepens, stretching into something cruel. “Perhaps your subconscious is telling you that you miss me, too.”
It’s like a freezing hand is stroking up my spine, wrapping around my throat from behind. I open my mouth to scream at him, but Ican’t.
I don’t know what words I could use.
I can’t admit to what’s happened.
He was my whole future. It all seemed so real. I swallowed every lie greedily, desperately. The things he did to me.
The things I…beggedhim to do to me.
My hands start to shake. It’s a warning that I need to stop. I can’t let these thoughts free.
I can’t think about how deep his betrayal really goes, running like channels of rot through my bones. If I let it spread, I might never recover.
Stop, I command.
And once again, the shadows respond. They rise up like a tower of darkness, then lunge furiously for Killian.
For a moment, I’m triumphant. I didn’t want this in the arena, but here—good, fine. A worthy opponent. If I strangle him with shadow, so be it.
Then Killian lifts his hand, takes hold of the torrent of darkness, and wrenches it aside. He does it so easily, barely looking at it. His eyes are too busy swallowing me up and drowning me in a sea of cutting blue.
Chills race up my spine. It’s horrifying. The darkness ismypower—my anger incarnate, it seems—and he manipulates it with little effort.
He always has manipulated me expertly, though, hasn’t he?
